It's Been 3 Weeks

Hasn't it?  I need to get a little more involved.  (Although, I must say, I feel abandoned by my cohorts...)

Keeping track of your blood glucose levels is interesting.  What have I learned so far? 

• My blood glucose is high in the morning.  Like, just shy of 180.  My brother says it's because overnight, your body burns things off that release stored sugars while you sleep.  Personally, I'm wondering if that's not why it's so hard for me to get up in the morning.
• My blood glucose is lower after eating 1/2 of a sandwich (15 grain, whole grain bread, ham or turkey, etc) and either a piece of fruit or a bunch of carrots than it is after eating a salad with a vinaigrette.  What?  That makes my head hurt.
• Drinking a can of soda (Mello Yello) does not spike my blood glucose, but a bottle of A&W Cream Soda?  Well...that's a different story...  Drat.  Maybe it was that fried chicken sandwich from Wendy's?
• Taking B-complex vitamins can turn your urine flourescent yellow.  I think it's also irritating my bladder.  (I'm sure that's TMI, if there's anyone out there actually reading this.)
• Eating small meals several times per day has done nothing for my weight.  What am I eating?  Half a sandwich and an apple between 630 and 700 for breakfast.  The other half of the sandwich and maybe another piece of fruit for a snack, around 930.  Another half of a sandwich and some baby carrots for lunch at 1230.  Another half of a sandwich (no accompaniment) around 330.  Small, veggie-heavy dinner around 630. 
  (You're  wanting the math, right?  Hmm...  It's roughly 270 calories per sandwich, about 100 for each piece of fruit and 50 for the carrots.  That's 790.  If I have a soda, that adds 120 (Total: 910), meaning I need a little over 300 more (minimum) total, easily accomplished at dinner with a bag of broccoli with a pat of butter (roughly 100 calories) and whatever else I fix to go with it.  (Which a chicken breast or most any other normal serving size of meat will get it there.)  So, yes, I am getting between 1200 and 1500 calories per day.)
• I'm still tired.  Or maybe I'm just feeling kinda blah.

Activity levels are still down, which is my fault, I know.  I am still taking dance, but that's only ONE class per month.  I need more.  I'd like to get a Bowflex Treadclimber, but we keep asking ourselves questions,  like, where will we put it?

I am intending (still) on signing up for the Biggest Loser 5K Walk/Run in Panama City.  Got to do it today or tomorrow; it just sucks because I just got paid, and it already feels like I'm about to be broke.  Am I the only one who feels that way?

For anyone who stumbles across this blog and reads...feel free to throw in some words of encouragement!  :)

Got To Get Serious.

I went to the doctor yesterday.  Yeah, I went to the walk-in clinic, as I had done at the beginning of June.  In June, the doctor there told me that she'd give me a 3 month prescription of my heart medication (I have mitral valve prolapse, and if you have it bad enoough you have a leaky mitral valve, you take a drug to keep the heart palpitations down.)  She said she wouldn't give me more without a cholesterol test.

Financially, September is not being a very good month.  My child (and I!) return to dance classes, which means beginning again to pay that dance tuition ($110/month, give or take).  I paid off my car (almost $100 more than my usual payment, but it's paid!)  My child also needed two more pairs of dance shoes and a new dance bag ($151).  She wound up sick and at the doctor's office ($40).  I have a relatively regularly scheduled appointment later this month ($45).  But I was out of my medication.  I had to go.

I fasted, as had been requested, and she went ahead and drew blood to test everything.  Initial result: a1c is over 7%.  I now have a glucose meter, a prescription for a diabetes-type sugar-reducing medication, and instructions to return in 1 month.  Hmm.  Not what I wanted to hear.  At. All.

So, now I must escape from the potential depression that threatens to build.  I must get serious.  She gave me 6 months metformin, and I don't want it renewed.  She doesn't think she will have to renew it. 

So...

Goal #1: Reduce weight by 5%.

Reading online says that even as small as a 5% reduction can reduce chances of this becoming full-blown diabetes by something like 58%.  Currently, I am weighing in (by the house scale, which I will be going by) at 217.4.  To reduce my weight by 5%, I must get down to 206.53.  11 pounds.  That should be doable within a month or two, depending.  I have set a calorie goal, I have gone out and bought some healthy things to eat.  I must get up in the morning and do some kind of aerobic exercise for at least 30 minutes.  I want to do the Fluidity program on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and whip out a Richard Simmons video at least the other days, if not every day.

My next goal will be to go down by another 5%, which will be 196.2.  I want to be at least here by December, when Cristin and I are planning on trekking down to the Biggest Loser WalkRun 5K in Panama City.

I think 5% goals should be doable, right?  One goal at a time...

Now, to get my cohorts back on-board...

I'm Not Ready For Summer To Be Over

It's August (really???), and, for those of us who teach, that means summer is drawing to a close.

I tried something new this summer, and it (so far) hasn't worked.  I gained a few pounds from the week-lonng out of town vacation.  (Let's face it; Disney has some good food.) 

Stress has won out over diet/workout plans. 

My grandparents have required 24/7 care all summer.  We've had a day sitter during the week who can work 9-4.  We had a night sitter who was working 6-6.  That meant no one from 6-9 in the mornings, and no one from 4-6 in the evenings.  The evening bit was easier to work out.  People start getting off work around 4, so someone could be there to cover.  The mornings, though...

The only one who could be there from 6-9 was me.  So that meant waking up at 5 or earlier, getting showered and dressed and breakfasted, waking up my now 8 year old child, and getting out of the house by 5:45 or so.  I didn't get a full night's sleep for a couple of weeks, since I would have to get there and be awake until the next person came in.

Then my grandmother got violent and couldn't be calmed.  We wound up having to put her in the hospital, and my grandfather passed about 29 hours later.  With her Alzheimer's, it was determined it would be better to NOT tell her.  Or, at least, wait until she asked questions.  When she went in, we didn't know if she knew who we were or not, and she didn't necessarily know who he was.  She thought she was still a teenager, living in a place she hasn't lived since 1945 when she got married.  Every day is stressful now that she's home and you don't know what's going through her mind at any given moment and it doesn't take much to agitate her.  (Like, walk around the corner with someone else.  She'll think you're talking about her, even if you aren't.)  Should note that's not the only stresses, but that's probably the biggest.

So, yeah.  Stress.  Can you really lose weight when you are tired from stress?  Is the stress what's keeping me from losing weight?  Meh.

Would love if my partners in this would weigh in on their own stresses and successes, but they haven't made it here in a long, long time...

Dare to Soar - Your Attitude Determines Your Success

215.8 today.

Got to get things organized so I can get in the exercising spirit.  I also need to be writing, but that's another story for another blog...

New Beginning

Summer is officially here!  (At least, it is for those of us who don't work from Memorial Day to almost Labor Day....)  It's time to get things moving in the right direction again!

I weighed in yesterday morning.  215.6.  As far as any weight loss efforts went, yesterday was a bust.  There was pizza and steak, among other things.

Today: 215.4.

I had a baked potato for breakfast (topped with a bit of butter, shredded cheddar, and fat free cottage cheese).  For lunch, the same.  Dinner, spaghetti.  There is a "fun sized" Almond joy in my desserty future. 

Exercise for the day?  Not much.  I found this exercise that I didn't note the name of.  It involves you laying on the floor on your back, lifting your legs up and lowering them most of the way back to the floor.  It works the lower abdominal muscles (below the belly button).  I did this twice today wtih multiple repetitions each time.  Must say it definitely pulled, stretched, hurt.  I will keep doing this.

Looking through my Amazon account to figure out what I ordered that I have been charged for but haven't seen yet (and couldn't figure it out, either), I saw that I bought a Richard Simmons video earlier in the year (September??)  Really?  Where is that?  There's a Pilates video.  A Yoga.  Why am I not doing these?

Once I get things cleaned and organized, I will break out the Fluidity.  And the videos.  And work it off, baby!

Note to self: I either want to find a pair of hand weights (because I know we have some in this house!) or buy a new set this weekend...

Inspirational Quote

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

                                                                Eleanor Roosevelt

I think we think we cannot lose weight.  I know with my thyroid problems I've said it before.  It's impossible. 

But it isn't.  Even though we think it's impossible, we must find the way to make it possible.

What are you going to do today to make it possible?

I'm going to give this 15 minutes of step idea another shot.  I don't know how far I'll get until I truly kick this congestion problem.  But let's go!

GFF---Way to Be

I think it's amazing that I've done completely away with the whole business of being gluten free for not even two weeks now, and I'm back down to 213.  Seven pounds, gone, like that.

Payday is Monday, and I couldn't be happier.  I want some juice.  And some veggies.  And some fruit.  Aaaaannnnndddd......

Some money.

Really.

In other news...I failed on my step pledge this week.  However, I will admit that I have been sick.  Allergy?  Cold?  Flu?  Bronchitis?  Don't know, but I know that I haven't felt up to much of anything all week.  I had to walk here and there across campus today.  I enjoyed the walk, but I made it slow yet purposeful. 

I thought earlier about my "goal" to do the next 5K in 45 minutes or less, yet it's been almost a month, and I've done nothing to prepare for it. 

Absolutely must lose weight soon!  I was so hoping to be down to closer to 170 before we went on vacation.  Now, I'll be happy if I can be under 200.  I think I can....I think I can....I think I can....I think I can...

This weekend, I must bake a cake for the church dessert auction.  I really need to start on it tomorrow, so I can frost it on Sunday (since the one I promised has to be at least partially frozen...)  I am debating baking something for the kids on Friday.  I could bake a truckload of cookies....  Suggestions?

Inspirational Quote

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

- Will Rogers.

I think the biggest setback we have faced so far is that we haven't been motivated enough to get up and move!  I mean, I have done the tap dancing thing this year, but that's only been one day a week, and not even for an hour on that one day.  I, personally, need to be doing more.

This week, I pledge to start adding more activity into my daily routine.  I will get at least 15 minutes of step per day, at least every other day. 

Because I'm not going to get run over for just sitting here.  How about you?

Starting Over. Kinda...

The scale was hidden for the past couple of weeks or so.  All through Spring Break, as that part of the house was being worked on, at least.

I got on it Thursday for the first time in a while.

220.

Hmm.  Okay.  I had the feeling I had gained a couple of pounds back.  If we look at the fact that my weight was consistent at 216, and I was relatively lazy during the break...That's only a 4 pound weight gain.  Plus, it was evening and I'd eaten, etc. etc.

So yesterday morning, 218.  Today...217. 

I'm still not back to my old, pre-GF routine.  And I won't be until after payday.  (Do you have any idea how expensive it is to buy healthy foods???)  That doesn't mean I'm junking out or anything.  It's just that my options are limited. 

This past week, I had my salad every day.  I didn't get to make my soup, so it was salad and a sandwich.  I didn't have as much stuff to put on my salad, either. 

I will be trying to get some vegetable soup made up tomorrow.  I guess it might be soup and a sandwich this week.  I have no $$ to get stuff for salad.

I did make some homemade tomato soup.  Probably not the healthiest thing.

Melt a couple tablespoons of butter.  Chop up bacon into small pieces and fry in the butter.  (The biggest thing here is that you are trying to get the flavor of the bacon, plus a little fat.  I have saved bacon grease and just tossed in a spoonful or two and let it melt down.)  Chop up onions, carrots, celery, and garlic.  Remove the bacon when it's crispy, and toss in the chopped veggies.  Let the veggies start to get tender, then add a carton of stock (usually, we use chicken, but today I used organic, low sodium vegetable broth, and it was still yummy.)  Add in canned tomatoes (I use at least one large can and one small can.  You can use whole, diced, crushed, whatever.  Usually, I have a large can of whole or diced and a small can of stewed.  Tonight, I used a large can of diced, and small cans of diced and fire roasted--3, I think.)
Once you add in the tomatoes, let it simmer for twenty minutes or so -- until it is heated all the way through.  Get out your immersion blender and whiz until the soup is smooth, then add cream (half and half, whipping cream, milk...whatever you got on hand...), continuing to whiz until well-mixed.  Serve garnished with a little shredded cheese (if that's what you like) and the bacon that you cooked at the beginning.

Usually, I used stewed tomatoes and don't add the carrots and the celery.  Tonight, I had carrots but no celery.  I probably put 2 cups of chopped carrots into the pot...and no one is the wiser.  Same with the vegetable broth instead of the chicken broth.  No comments made to say that the soup tasted funny or different than usual.  (I think it turned out quite well, too.)

So...tomorrow, I will make a vegetable soup.  I will do what I can to get through the next week (and a couple of days!) without any money.  And maybe I can get back on track.

Inspirational Quote

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can.
       ~Author Unknown

Step One: Stop making excuses.

Assignment (hahahaha): Write a list of all the excuses for why you haven't been able to reach your goals.  Are your excuses really reasonable?  What are you going to do to counteract those excuses? 

5K Challenge

I finally managed to walk my first 5K today.  I walked with my sister-in-law and her sister.  We weren't last, but we were close (there were 4 people behind us.)

I hung around for the awards ceremony.  Top 3 in each category were pretty much all under 30 minutes (I think one placed at 33 minutes).  We came in at 58 minutes. 

On the DIS boards, they have the WISH team.  That stands for We're Inspired to Stay Healthy.  They have the saying that DLF > DNF > DNS. 

Dead Last Finish is better than Did Not Finish is better than Did Not Start.

We're all falling behind again.  I've managed to walk roughly between 9 and 11 miles in the last week, which is pretty good.  My time is limited during the week.  My child has dance until 6 on Monday, GS until 5 on Tuesday (followed by my own dance class at 7), and dance until 5:30 on Wednesday.  I could possibly walk the 3.whatever miles around the lake on Tuesday (between GS and dance, and that's IF I don't drag my feet at GS.)  We could go after 5:30 on Wednesday.  We can go Thursday and Friday afternoons.  Plus Saturdays and Sundays.

So...need to put a halt on the excuses.  Need to get MORE done, exercise-wise.   

My goal, silly as it seems, is to do the next 5K (scheduled for the first weekend of October) in 45 minutes or less.

In a year, maybe I can actually run the thing.

But for now...I did it.  I finished.  And for that much, I'm happy.

Here's a website to look at.  I think my cohorts should get in this with me:  http://www.c25k.com/

Long-term Goal: Run the Princess Half-Marathon at Disney.  Half-Marathon = 13.x miles.  What's a logical date for that?  2015?

Reboot?

Okay, so now that I'm officially through with GF, it's time to reboot.  Except that I can't really do a total reboot since I can't afford the juice right now.  :(  Maybe I can work something out....

Right now, I seem to be consistent at 215. 

I have walked 7 miles this week (since Saturday).  I should have made another 3.5 today, but didn't.  I'd say maybe tomorrow, but I'd likely be on my own.

I am registered for a 5K this weekend.  I'm a walking entry, but I'm kinda looking forward to it.  Can't wait for things to work out so I can have some room to work out some.

One Week

I pretty much gave up on the GF during this last week of the Lenten season.  I can't say that I really feel bad for it.  I'm going to indulge a little this weekend, then just see if I can't at least half way get back to what I was doing at the start of the year.

Spring Break...I will be working on my novel and trying to get an exercise routine of some sort going.

What are you doing?

Back to the...Beginning?

I see that the last time I posted, I said my cholesterol tested over 200.  That should have been under, as it was something like 167.

Of course, I came to see if anyone else has posted.  I see that no one has. 

Two weeks left on this gluten-free business, and I'm tired of it.  I mean, it's not that it's difficult (although, sometimes, it is).  I have learned the easiest way to take care of running through a drive-through (Wendy's for a small chili with cheese and a baked potato....)  I have done well with asking for bread not to be brought to the table and ordering a meal without bread or pasta or whatever that isn't gluten free.  I've had a "cheat day" once a week.  Otherwise, I've done roughly the same things I've been doing -- fruit/veggie juice blend for breakfast, snack of fresh fruit.  Salad and veggie concoction for lunch.  Reasonable dinner of a potato or sweet potato or a super-loaded plate of veggies.  Little or no meat.  (Okay...I've been a little more liberal with the meat....and I have enjoyed a snack of cheese here and there...Nothing overboard.)  GF cookies and milk for my end of the day treat.  (The GF snickerdoodles are YUMMY! <3)

But the weight loss has been non-existent.  Good news: haven't gained.  Bad news: haven't lost.  I don't know that that part is really bad...just not what I expected.

So...

I'm looking at these last two weeks, telling myself I can survive it...but not sure if I want to.  I know I gave up gluten for Lent, but I feel like even God has been saying, "You know, kid...this isn't right for you."  I mean, if you have to be GF, what do you do for Communion?  (Okay....yes, I know there have to be options...but...still....)

So, I think I may be transitioning back to what I was doing before.  It still involved very little bread.  I like the brown rice pasta...and I will do the comparisons and make wise decisions before I go back to regular pasta.  I need to be more concerned about getting more veggies and more exercise than going GF. 

So...back to the beginning. 

What's different?

I didn't read labels to make sure everything I was purchasing was GF.

I was eating GS cookies before bed. 

...

Is that really it?

Tried to avoid rice, too, didn't I?  Hmm...

No or few fried foods...but doing that now because most things that are fried are breaded...and if they aren't, they are cooked in the same oil as something that is breaded and fried.

No bread, although I would eat it if we crossed paths.  Only problem was that all the bread I had in the 2 months leading up to this was awful when I ate it.  Sucks to have a 200 calories of something that just tastes bad.

Okay.  Going to think this through and get back to you.

One More Thing...

My cholesterol has gone way down since last year.  Last year, they couldn't even read it on their machine at the wellness clinic (which means overall was over 300).  This week, it was over 200.  The only bad part is my HDL (good) is still low, and triglicerides are too high (which is common for people who take thyroid meds).

Prognosis: you need to exercise more.  Fish oil wouldn't be bad, either.

Back and Forth...

I didn't really lose any weight in February.  I did, however, get on the scale yesterday (or was it the day before?) to see 212.  I was hoping to be below 210 by the end of the month.  However, I am able to fit into a size 18 pair of pants again, and that's got to count for something.

As much as I would love to be at or around 170 by the end of June, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be there.  But I feel that I have mastered the first step of the weightloss journey: accept who and how you are today.  You can't lose any weight at all if you keep thinking of yourself as a thin person -- why would I need to lose anything if I'm already thin?  This is buying the clothes that fit you because you've stopped thinking in terms of "when I lose this weight" and just accepting that this is how you are and these are the things you need TODAY -- and when we finally need those smaller things because we HAVE lost the weight, dealing with that then.

I feel like I'm rambling... 

So, anyhow, 212.  Down from 227, that's still a pretty big thing.

Gluten-free is getting easier.  My daughter wanted to go to Olive Garden last night for Ravioli, so I got to try their gluten-free pasta.  It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't the same as their regular pasta.  (Next time, I'll just get a bowl of never-ending Zuppa Toscana...yummmm!)  Of course, here I tell them I'm on a gluten-free diet, and they bring the breadsticks.  Uh, no?  (Yes, I did have the personal strength to tell them not to leave them at the table.) 

I found some Xanthan Gum at Publix -- almost $15 for a small bag!  It had better last forever, or make a decent pound cake!  (That's what I'll be trying this weekend, possibly today.)

I should say that I've had a couple of times that I've had gluten.  Last Tuesday was the Kiwanis pancake supper.  We always go to that.  My stomach hurt the next day, but I can't say if it was that, or if it was psychocomatic.  I also had a teeny-tiny cookie night before last (and those awful meatballs probably had some sort of bad filler in them.)  So, I haven't been perfect, but I've been a lot better than I could have been.

Now, I think I've got to take little K to the doctor.  Everything in her neck looks swollen, and she feels pretty awful.  I hope the weather is more or less over.

I Dunno...

...That this gluten free thing is working out.  I'm worried about everything having something hidden in it.  Like, I had a bite or two of a potato casserole today.  I know there is a can of cream-based soup in it, therefore there was wheat in it.  I did go for lunch at a Mexican restaurant today and had a salad (not a taco salad) with no dressing (which was quite good). 

I'm back to 215, where my weight seems to have been relatively steady for this month.  I'm not sure what the deal with this is.  Have I slipped?  Is gluten free wrong for me?  Maybe Mostly Vegeterian is better?  *sigh*

I'm going to give it a few more days...at least another week.  See if I can't improve.  Need to get moving.

Not So Sure...

How I'm doing with this.  I had a taste of the batter of the cake that I've got in the oven for this reception that's being held at school.  That's my gluten for the day that I shouldn't have had.  I'm going to work towards making one that is gluten free this weekend, though.  I'd like to make a pound cake, but have to figure out how to do it with the gluten free flour. 

We went out for Mexican Wednesday night.  I think I did okay, but it's really hard to say when you don't know what's what.  Mexican is supposed to be more corn and less flour, so maybe I'm alright there.

Must reread book...

Since Wednesday the intuitive eating thing has sorta gone downhill quickly. Wednesday is my busiest day. I have 7 15-30 minute classes during the day and barely have time to stop for my scheduled lunch time. The whole premise behind the intuitive eating is to not eat at "scheduled" times, but to only eat when one is hungry and to actually take enough time to sit and enjoy the food while it is being eaten. This is a problem that I must solve in order to prevent a disastrous end of the week like this one. It's hard to plan to not plan and eat when hungry when that might not happen because you can't eat in the middle of a Kindergarten library class... (Mr. Wiggle wouldn't like you reading and eating at the same time -- I can't be a hypocrite in front of the Kindergarteners! LOL)

This next week, I hope to solve my Wednesday problems. I just felt so discouraged after Wednesday being a total failure and being STARVED that I ate just about everything in sight. And yes, I shouldn't have felt discouraged and just stopped completely. I tried picking back up, but I realized I needed to motivation of rereading the book, but yet again finding the time just wasn't there... yet. Today/tonight seems like a great opportunity to reread and refocus. I do feel like I was at least successfully maintaining the weight loss without starving while practicing the intuitive eating, but I need to be more focused on LOSING not just maintaining the loss at this point...

On another note, haven't walked since Tuesday of last week. Been feeling crappy still with sinus infection, taking antibiotics, etc... Just run down. 5K is in about 3 weeks, and I'm feeling negative about it. Not sure if I am really ready to do this right now. Doubts that I really shouldn't be feeling.

I type this as I am thinking about making no-bake Nutella cookies... found this great and AWESOMELY delicious blog post about these beauties. They have to be less calories than the regular boil/drop cookies with peanut butter in them, but I do need to figure the calories.

Lost in Cyber Space

I had a fairly long post about the gluten-free book I've got, etc.  And the Internet ate it.  *sigh*

Anywho...

Going Gluten-Free
Day One Stats:

Weight: 214  (it was actually 213.x when I originally weighed in, but I can't remember what the x was.  It said 214.0 when I went back.)
Plan for the day: Fast.  Fruit juice, water, and fruit.  Did have a cup of coffee that (for me to drink it) must come with creamer, but at least it is Coffee Mate Natural Bliss made with 4 natural ingredients.

Blood oranges are currently available at Walmart.  Pretty good.  :)

Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday

I've been a little discouraged lately.  I haven't been as good as I started out the year, although I've been better than I was last year.  I have watched my weight fluctuate back up to almost 217 (around 216.8, I think, which might as well be 217.)  For several days, the fluctuation has been between 214 and 216.something, which, yeah.  I know that's pretty darn normal.  I've tried not to stress over it, but when you're getting used to that downward trend of at least a pound per week, it is discouraging to have an off week.

Now, if I haven't mentioned this, I've been reading a lot lately about how Celiac's and/or gluten insensitivity go hand-in-hand with autoimmune disorders like Hashimoto's.  So this year, for Lent, I'm giving up gluten.  (And if you don't know, Lent starts on Ash Wednesday, which is the day after Fat Tuesday (aka Mardi Gras, aka Pancake Day  -- and nevermind that IHOP is now picking the WRONG day to do pancake day!)

I don't think it will be that difficult.  I've pretty much done without bread since the first of the year (and the couple of times I've had bread, it hasn't been that great, to tell the truth.)  I've also already swapped to brown rice-based pasta.  I will pack up a couple packages of Girl Scout cookies for consumption after Easter (although, if it turns out that this needs to be a permanent lifestyle change, is that really a smart thing to do?)

Reading labels is definitely a must for this, because there are hidden wheat-type ingredients everywhere.  Luckily, regulations on allergy warnings require some sort of statement about wheat, barley, and rye, even if there is possibility of cross-contamination because this gluten free product is made/processed somewhere that also processes wheat/gluten-containing products.  Of course, I've started trying to check for high fructose corn syrup and trying to avoid products containing that for the last couple of years. 

Interesting things I've learned lately by reading labels:

• Most, but not all, jarred spaghetti sauces contain sugar.  Now, I do a semi-homemade spaghetti sauce.  [Brown hamburger or ground turkey, toss in a chopped onion, and season appropriately with oregano, salt, pepper, basil, garlic, and whatever other appropriate spices are at-hand.  Add in a can or more of tomatoes (I usually do petite diced, but anything will do) and a jar of prepared spaghetti sauce.  Simmer at least until heated through.  Check periodically for appropriate spiciness.]  However, it's never really occured to me that they put sugar in the sauce.  Tomatoes NEED some sort of spice (sugar or salt) to cut the acidity, but you're gennerally better with a little salt.  I added sugar to a spaghetti sauce one time, and it ended up tasting like Chef Boyardee (which, btw, adds high fructose corn syrup to its sauce.  The HFCS is pretty addictive, and tends to make the kids LOVE it.  Hrmph.)
• Swanson Vegetable Broth has HFCS in it.  I'm still trying to get over this.  A lovely vegeterian broth, and they have to go and ruin it with HFCS.  (Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm in the camp that believes a good portion of the reason Americans are getting fatter is because the government provides subsidies to corn farmers, making products made with corn cheaper to produce.  I was told a way long time ago that HFCS is NOT naturally produced and our bodies don't know what to do with it, so it doesn't metabolize appropriately and is more likely to be turned into fat that cane sugar.  It's also addictive -- as I stated above -- and can help make you crave MORE sugar.  There are studies that show how our weight started going up as the use of HFCS started going up.  Note that other countries don't use HFCS -- get a Coke that was "heche en Mexico" and note the sugar.  If you do a taste comparison between a drink made with HFCS and the same drink made with sugar, the one with HFCS generally has a more syrupy consistency and will linger in the mouth longer.  Or maybe it's just me.  YMMV.)
• My favorite Campell's Condensed Soup, Fiesta Nacho Cheese, has wheat flour in it.  Okay, fine.  Noting that it's a cream-based soup, I should have known that.  And, yes, I thought about doing the homemade Velveeta and using it, but then it dawned on me that the Rotel and the cheese should be fine, and if I need some thickening, I now am the proud possessor of some brown rice flour.  (Besides, it's over $4 for a pound of colby cheese, plus $1.25 for plain gelatin, over $3 for the powdered milk....One day, I AM going to try it, though.)

Is there more?  Sure...but it can wait.

Next up, posting about what to look for if you're wanting to go gluten free.  (Because this post is getting long....)

2.21 miles, not quite 3.1, but closer...

I walked 2.21 miles today at my best pace! Woo, I am so excited. Not much to this post, but thinking positive thoughts from this. 5k is March 10th, that is roughly 3 weeks away. So much more walking to do to get to that comfortable pace.

:D On the weight front, down another pound. Now 290 and holding for the last couple days. Still working on the I.E. philosophy. I realize that Wednesday is not the best day for I.E. My schedule at school is so jam-packed I barely have time to eat when it's "scheduled"! Whew, makes it nearly impossible to eat when I'm hungry and actually enjoy the food I'm shoveling down my throat. I've got to work on this I.E. stuff at school.

Intuitive Eating

Like my counterpart posted, it is cold -- seriously cold. We've been spoiled by these 60 and 70 degree afternoons where walking and exercising outside if a pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I don't want summer to get here -- I hate hot and humid weather, but if it could just stay between 60 and 70 degrees I would LOVE it.

I will admit that I did not exercise Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. I did not hit the 5 mile a week goal I had set for myself, but I did walk 4 miles last week. I can tell a difference in how I feel by exercising more -- this isn't news, but I just haven't got off my butt in a while to walk outside. I had been playing Dance Central on the Kinect, but that's not as fun as being outside in the fresh air sometimes.

I have lost down to 290.0 as of this morning. I am at home this afternoon with a sick baby -- Thomas might have pink eye. It is undetermined. So, hopefully, he will nap so I can get some work done and exercise later.

I am now starting week 5 of the 52 week journey. I am feeling good about this. I have read I Can Make You Thin by Paul McKenna. The book is about intuitive eating -- basically, reteaching your mind to listen to your body's signals for hunger. To people who have never been fat, it makes perfect sense:

• Eat when you are hungry.
• Eat what you want. (Theoretically, this should be healthy choices!)
• Enjoy every mouthful of food.
• Stop when you are full.

Sounds easy enough, but most of the time, I find myself shoveling in food at a constant rate just to be able to finish lunch, get Thomas and give him a bath. Our lives are so jam-packed of things to do, when is there time to sit and enjoy eating food. Here's the funny thing, I feel weird and self-conscious eating in front of people anyway, but it's natural we all have to do it. In order to "enjoy every mouthful" I find myself closing my eyes and chewing my food until it's like so beyond mush -- which is gross for you to read, but that's how it's supposed to be, right? Duh, it's like 25 years and I'm just now learning how to eat. The other thing I find myself doing that helps me savor the flavor: listing at least 5-10 adjectives about each bite of food I am taking. I say these in my head as I am chewing to make sure I am enjoying every mouthful. It seems to be working. I am getting full well before I usually would. I am eating foods that I enjoy, not just the cabbage soup that I cooked just to lose weight -- that really has no enjoyable qualities. 

Will this work? Sure. I just need to get up and move!

Cold, Cold, Cold!

Hey, did I mention it's cold??

Just a quick update because I should be in bed...

The scale was stubborn this week.  A day or two after I posted that I was down to 214.8, it went back up to 216.8, and it didn't come down until the end of this week.  The last couple of days, I took some vegeterian chili along with my salad for lunch.  Maybe that stuff really helps?  Another day or two, and I'll make more of my vegeterian taco filling and do some taco salads again (yummy!)  The scale this morning?  213.6. 

I'm hoping for under 210 by the first of March....and close to 200 (if not under) by the first of April...maybe more under by the first of May?

If I can get down roughly 5 pounds per month...  that would put me around 210 at the end of this month, 205 at the end of April, 200 at the end of May, and 195 at the end of June.  Only bad thing for June...Disney trip, with much rich food.  There may be a before and after juice fast...  Try to dump a few extra pounds before the trip, and then lose whatever gets gained afterwards.

I've read recently that people with AutoImmune disorders (like Hashimoto's) should stick to a gluten free diet.  Other than Girl Scout cookies, I've pretty much been there this year.  I have had bread maybe two or three times, and most of that I've had didn't taste very good.  I've started buying gluten free (aka brown rice) pasta.  By mistake (because I wasn't here when the pasta was boiled) everyone in the house tonight wound up eating the rice pasta.  I didn't hear any complaints.  (And actually, other than it all kinda became a sticky blob after being drained, it was pretty darn good.  Dip out pasta, add sauce, mix well...it was yummy.)

I've been looking into the gluten free breads -- about $6 per loaf!  I think I'll mostly do better just not eating bread!  I've got rice tortilla chips and have been munching on the Terra Sweets and Beets chips (yuuuummmmmmm!)  And my Talenti gelato?  Gluten free!  Woo!

I've got a book coming...

Success hasn't tasted sweeter

-11.2 pounds down total since beginning the 52 week journey on January 17th. Whew, I feel better. It's time to take a photo to "celebrate" the shedding of 10 pounds. I want to keep up the photos to see my progress not only on the scale but on my body as well.

I'm down with a sinus infection. Went to the doc and received two shots, one in each hip (lovely). Steroid and antibiotic shots. I fear the steroid shot will make me want to eat everything in site -- so far, I haven't had a problem. I have chicken soup in the crockpot for later (no noodles, just chicken and veggies).

I'm going to for a walk later -- in hopes of walking at least another mile at a decent pace for being sick :P

Later that day...

I went for my daily walk right after originally posting this blog, but I decided to update it.

I walked 1.59 miles in 35 minutes for a 22 minute mile pace -- I'm getting better (even sick!). I did a different route than before -- used some of the same roads, but I thought I was taking a "short cut" and not walking as far or long, but I really did surprise myself by walking the distance I did. I am by no means up to the 3.1 miles required for the 5K in March, but I am getting there. I have found out there isn't a time limit and the course for the 5K. I don't want to "chicken out" and just do the 1 mile fun run/walk. I think I can get to 3.1 miles in a decent time by March 10th.

For dinner I did eat the 2 cups of chicken soup -- I could actually taste and smell the soup by the time I went to eat it (THANK YOU STEROID AND ANTIBIOTIC Shots!). And for dessert I realized I could enjoy something that is healthy and yet sooooo delicious! 3/4 cup honey nut Cheerios and 1 cup Silk Vanilla Soymilk. LOVED every bite. I was like 200 calories, which is way better than chocolate cake!

The Scales don't lie, or at least I hope not!

I did end up weighing myself on Sunday after the weekend at "home." I weighted 292.4 -- that's just 2/10ths shy of 10 pounds! A great accomplishment considering my forays in the 'Ville.

Today is another day. I ate too much at lunch (which was a day out of the office from the "normal" lunch of cabbage soup) Steak Fajita Quesadillas. Ate waaaay too much. I should've stopped at 2 slices instead of eating all six. Live and learn, correct? I learned at dinner. I fixed a special sized hamburger steak and then watched my portion size. I made sure to eat on my "special" dinner plate which is really a salad plate. It makes me feel like I have ate a ton -- which is a good psychological trick that works for me.

Mama said there'd be days like this...She just didn't know she'd cause 'em.

I'm "home" for the weekend visiting my mom in the 'Ville. So, that usually doesn't spell as much trouble as you would think because my mom is also a bigger lady and usually "diets" with me when I do -- even though it's from afar. I thought this weekend wouldn't be so hard, but I realized it is hard -- when there are snacks in the cabinet--which are healthy, but obviously only in moderation. Birthday dinner for my cousin who is turning 12 -- that includes a oh-so-healthy meal of grilled chicken (which is healthier) and Fetticini Alfredo (not so healthy with the 2 quarts of whipping cream used to cook the damn sauce...) that's not to mention the MAYFIELD chocolate ice cream (which is right up there on my favorite ice cream list) and chocolate cake to boot -- at least the chocolate cake had dark chocolate shavings? Okay, I'm not pulling myself out of this one EXCEPT: I did eat a small portion of the noodles (and a second helping of that small portion--so it's really a bigger portion) and grilled chicken and a green salad sans croutons, cheese, or Caesar dressing, but to top it off I had a SMALL slice of cake but a nice-sized scoop of ice cream. That's the beside the point, I had Mexican for lunch. I probably failed miserably on Saturday. I haven't even weighed myself yet because I fear what I am going to see on the scale, but I realize this can't set me back. I have to chalk this up as a loss, or as a gain?, whatever, and keep on going forward.

This is 2 weeks of calorie counting. 21 days makes a habit, so 7 more days of counting, tracking, exercising, etc and I think I can have my brain retrained to think in a way that is positive towards meeting my 52 week goal. I only have 49 more weeks left in the journey. I can do this.

On a more positive note, I did go walking/jogging (as best I could jog) it wasn't even a full mile, but

Oops?

So I haven't been posting like I should have been. 

However...

On January 1st, 2012, the scale said 226.8.  Wednesday, February 1st, it said 216.8.  At the doctor's office, I'd had an 8 pound loss since my last visit.

This morning, it says 214.8. 

The trend is going down, and I'm satisfied with what I'm doing for it to go down.

More later when there's more time.  :)

The results are in...

1/22: 302.6 pounds 1/29: 296.6 pounds = -6 pounds I have to keep up the good work. Not that I am expecting results like this every week, but this will help in the future when the loss gets tougher. Side note: I've been asked to rejoin WW by a friend I did WW with before. I don't want to not go with her, but at the same time, what I am doing at the moment seems to work for me-- which is the same as WW (calorie counting) and its a free community website. Thoughts?

Too much.

Last night I ate an extra helping of dinner -- which was way too much food. I left horrible. Too full to really do much of anything. I was uncomfortable even way past I went to bed (too full to sleep well). Lesson: Put down that extra serving lard butt! Moving on.

I didn't exercise last night because... well, I was too full. Not a good excuse at all. So, today, I came home -- earlier than expected because school was let out due to the impending bad weather. I got comfortable and tried a few yoga poses. Yes, yoga. To be exact, I did Mountain, Crescent, and Goddess posses. I feel... better and more relaxed. Could I make this into an afternoon routine to wind myself down from the day? Sure. If it makes me feel better and less stressed maybe my 52 week journey will go smoother. Almost 2 weeks down, and we will see the results on Sunday.

I have never publicly stated my weight, or weight goals, but I think I will be strong and brave enough to do so.

Starting weight: 302.6 (Heaviest I've ever been)
Goal weight: 150

Warning: Post contains mentions of food!

Okay, so in my effort to be successful in my 52 week... journey?... I am going to post my meal plans for the week. Honestly, being the cook in the house, I can overhaul a lot of my cooking, but then only I would eat it and end up having to cook almost 3 separate meals. I'm already busy enough just cooking two meals (one for us and one for Thomas, when needed). The meal plans will be a balance of healthy versions of favorites and then straight up healthy stuff.

My lunch for the week: Cabbage soup -- in the crock pot as we speak (My newly purchased smaller crockpot, oh yeah.)

Tonight: Sautéed center-cut pork chops with corn casserole and green beans

Monday: Slow cooker Polynesian Chicken with rice and broccoli

Tuesday: Beef and broccoli in the slow cooker with rice (for me) mashed potatoes (for the hubby)

Wednesday: Chicken enchiladas healthy version (slow cooker chicken with salsa shredded, flour tortillas, sauce and a little bit of cheese) with Remixed Refried Beans (Black beans + rotel blended) and Mexican rice

Thursday: Stuffed bell peppers (turkey not beef) oven baked French Fries

Friday: Ribeye steaks (yeah, I know, but I love red meat and a grilled steak) baked potatoes and green beans

I have realized the key "ingredient" I have been missing since I went on Weight Watchers the first time in 2009: PLANNING. Planning down to the very last detail what I am going to eat: breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. The less I have to think about food and what I want to eat in the moment, the less likely I am to careen off my path in to the ditch of binge eating -- which I do, a lot.

So, I am planning everything. Went to Walmart despite the rain and my feelings toward the store and have my week planned.

I want to be successful. I want to be successful. I can do this. I CAN do this.

I found some inspiration from this woman's blog: http://www.runsforcookies.com/

52 Weeks

1 year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 366 days (leap year in 2012, so I get an extra day!) to get off my ass and do something. Finally do something for myself -- not anyone else.

To lose 1 pound each week for the next year would knock off 52 pounds. To get to my goal weight I need to lose 145 pounds. In about 3 years I could lose and HOPEFULLY keep off that weight. 3 years, that's 156 weeks -- seems like a good amount of time to lose that weight. It seems like a reasonable amount of time to lose and keep off weight.

It's an easy enough concept to lose the weight, to exercise, to eat right, but to actually do it is the hard part. For 25 years that's been the hard part -- DOING. But really, to imagine myself 145 lighter is really unimaginable at this point. Unlike you two, I've never seen skinny not even "healthy weight". Ever. Is this what is the mental wall for me? Has this been the blockage for me for 25 years? Diet and exercise, done it, and then I'm right back where I started -- Fat again.

I sit here typing this after I have baked a chocolate cake for no special reason -- just to bake one because it sounded good when I read it in one of my cookbooks. Yes, and I ate a big ol' slice of it -- it's covered in chocolate cream cheese frosting. And it was good. But have I exercised in the last couple days like I had planned and made my goal to do -- no. I haven't even turned on the Kinect to dance, the Wii to exercise, or walked around outside. Lazy.

How do I change this? I need support. Lots of support. Friends, family, strangers. I need someone to truly hold me accountable. A co-worker told me on Tuesday that I looked like I had lost weight. This came from a girl who had never probably seen over weight -- skinny as a rail -- really, I don't know if she has always been skinny or not that's just an assumption. But do I feel like I've lost weight? No. I don't even keep track. I haven't touched my scale in months. My cat has managed to somehow change it from pounds to kilograms -- so when I stepped on the scale to TRY to weight my self I was given this unbelieved and shocking number, and I was like "Whoa, what the crap?" and then I realized it was kg... So yeah, got to get that fixed somehow.

Back to the chocolate cake. It's not that I feel guilty for eating it -- I had to try it to see if it was good. I really just feel crappy after eating it. Too much sugar. Too much everything. 

I don't want to eat the prepackaged diet food, but to be honest, this is what was successful the last time with the addition of fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm going to have to do something to track my calories and junk.

The "No" Diet

I'm not wholly doing a reboot.  I can't afford a juicer right now, plus to afford the juicer and the massive quantity of veggies and such you have to juice...just isn't going to happen...yet.

So...

I'm buying Naked and another brand of all natural juice.  I buy it in the 32 ounce bottle and drink half for breakfast.  I have a salad for lunch.  Dinner has mostly been about three sweet potatoes boiled, drained, and mashed with about a tablespoon or so of organic cream cheese with the occassional ounce or two of chicken or plate of other random assorted veggies (or, like last night, another salad...)  Plenty of water throughout the day.  Fresh fruit and the handful here and there of raw pecans.

No rice, white potatoes, pasta, or bread.  No meat (other than the occassional slice of ham or bit of baked chicken).  No adding butter to veggies (like steam broccoli or green beans).  Very small amounts of cheese (because it's supposed to be NO dairy).  No sweets beyond fruit and juice.  No caffeine.

So far, although I've had moments of seemingly insatiable hunger, it's not really been all that bad.  The hunger gets sated with massive amounts of fruits and veggies.  I've had a piece of candy on one day, a little bit of ice cream on a couple of other days.

And I've lost 6 pounds.

Since Monday.

And that was an afternoon weigh-in versus a morning weigh-in.

Did I mention that I'm terrified that saying this will cause this to stop working?  (And, yes, I've counted.  I'm getting enough calories.)

We went for lunch today, and I ordered sweet potato fries (I know...shouldn't have the fried food.  Sue me.)  and taco soup without the crushed tortillas.  I must say that the three bites I had of the soup was pretty tasty.  Then my child inhaled the rest of it.  I wound up eating two of her tiny chicken fingers to make up for not getting my soup (she wasn't going to eat them anyway.) 

Then we went to Publix, and she found a recipe for Vegeterian Chili that she wanted.  I told her it had sweet potatoes in it (yummy!), but she still wanted to try it. 

What an awesome recipe!  In a dutch oven (or big pot), heat a tablespoon of olive oil.  Add in 3 cups of sweet potatoes (chopped into 1/2" cubes) and 1 chopped onion.  Cook, stirring occassionally, for about 7 minutes (veggies are getting tender).  Add chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic.  Add 1 can diced tomatoes, lime juice, 1 can (drained and rinsed) black beans, 1 can vegetable broth.  Heat until sweet potatoes are soft.  In the future, I could probably do without the lime.  I had mine with a touch of sour cream and shredded cheddar and a generous sprinkling of Tony Chacher's Cajun Seasoning (which is great on just about everything.)

I should note that the rest of the family had a pasta with chicken and alfredo sauce and veggies.  (Of course the child liked the chili, but not the sweet potatoes, and she didn't feel like she could eat around the sweet potatoes.  I was right.  Go figure.)

Whatever

I have no excuse as to why I have not posted since mid-Setptember. I cannot say that I have continued exercising, taking vitamins, nor eating right. Ironically, it is the New Year. Did I make a resolution to lose weight? Eat right? Diet? Eh, none of the above really or anything else. I have never been good at making resolutions for the New Year and definitely not keeping them. As for now, I really just want to be more active with my son. I want to go out and play, walk, and have fun. I know I need to start eating right. Right now, I feel like I am at least succeeding at the eating right part, but we will take this one day at a time. My goal for tomorrow: drink water, lots of it.