If you fall off a bicycle, get back on. Except, in my case, I fell off the bicycle and watched it roll down the hill and get smashed to bits by an 18-wheeler. I don't believe I have written anything regarding my weight loss efforts in over a year, if not longer. Sigh...
I am the heaviest I have been in my life! When I began this venture, I was around 280 + or -, and now I'm over 300 lbs. Sad, but true. So, I decided to set a reasonable goal to lose 1-2 pounds per week over the course of the next year and a half. So far, I have made my goal. I am not being ridiculous about what I eat and I have no qualms about being honest about the causes of my weight.
September 2012 will always burn on my brain as the month of Change. Simple. My mother went in for surgery on her arm on September 7th and died on September 20th. That was the most devastating experience for me because I was making arrangements for her to go to rehab for her health. She even let me know that the time had come for her to ride the Glory Train and I had to listen to her and promise to make her homegoing beautiful. I think I did.
Over the next months, I would cry without any provocation. Reading Ludell by Brenda Wilkinson aloud to my students, I broke down crying after reading the lines, "Ludell likes hers baked in a pan like that, but I prefer mine in a hoecake." The word 'hoecake' caused such a gush of tears that my students quietly allowed me to cry, some shared in tear shedding, before I resumed class. Afterwards, I was asked by the majority if I were okay. I assured them I was, but I wasn't. To stifle my tears, I gorged them with chocolate and other sweets. I felt myself swelling, but could not stop.
My pal has continued to faithfully write on this blog, and now I have to add my one cent to the pile. I admire her dedication and hope to update, at least once a week, regarding my progress. I am optimistic that the goal, which is attainable, will be reached and success will be attained.
Prior to "coming back", I had to make amends with our school counselor. She was a former overweight person, but she battled and conquered her obesity by losing nearly 150 lbs in a year and a half. Throughout her journey, I was viciously jealous. In the beginning, I was supportive, but when she opted to have a gastric sleeve in November 2012, I was absolutely mortified. She had already lost 80 lbs on her own sweat and dedication, but the desire to be in a single digit size outweighed her efforts to continue on her previous path. By the time the school year ended, she looked AMAZING! I looked HORRENDOUS!
Today, I think I look good. I know what I need to do. I have made peace with her (although she was clueless :) ) and embraced my water bottle.
This is dedicated to the loving memory of my mother...
Thank you Rainy Day Play for standing strong for me during my time of need.
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