Dreaming of Success

Honesty is always the best policy. Which means, although I have not been walking and working ut as I had been initially, I am counting the days where a transformation will take place. Somehow, I have lost a significant amount of inches on my behind. This means that I have a SAG in the back of my pants and I HATE IT! Both of you know how I feel being African American with no round protruding behind. The top part, which was rather humpish (sue me), has rounded off and looks quite nice to my eyes. Instead of sitting like a lump of fat, I can see where the booty has started to round out, but then the bottom just completely flattens out and leaves me wondering, "WHY?!" Nothing was lost from my stomach and I'm tired of hearing others tell me that the first place you lose is on your bottom and the last is your stomach. I know this.

Now, I'm researching. Since I have this hernia (the second in three years...good job doctor), I know I'll need to wear protective gear while I workout. Not a probem. Anyway, I researched having surgery. Wendy Williams once stated she was a "surgery whore". I, too, have that same addiction. Yes, it is the oddest thing, but I do. I'm that way because I like the end result. I researched having the following procedures (making insurance will cover all of them): breast reduction/lift (my cup size is an H!), tummy tuck, and liposuction of my buffalo hump. The latter one is the one I am salivating the most to occur. I hate this monstrosity of fat attached on the back of my neck giving me the appearance of an offspring of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

You may wonder...how can insurance take care of those procedures? Easy. The tummy tuck would come in conjunction with repairing the hernia, a medical necessity. I am constantly in pain with both my back and my shoulders (don't accidentally bump me...oooo Buddy!) and though I attempt to sit with perfect posture, I feel myself quickly falling forward due to my "top heaviness". Indeed, the bane of my despair.

On Wednesday, a new chapter begins. I wonder will I sing like Jennifer Hudson when this is all over? Will I run out to purchase a new pair of patent leather red pumps (Can I even find a pair? Oh, I know anything can be found on the internet) "Sun in the sky...you know how I feel?" actually, Cristin should sing that song, but I don't think she'll mind my providing the harmony.

Ladies...Peace.

5 Pounds Down

It may not seem a lot, but it is an accomplishment to be. I have hit-- well, actually exceeded -- the 5 pounds down mark (at -5.4 pounds as of today). I am very excited. I saw better results with WW the first time I did the program, but I had help, it wasn't summer time, and I did the program with some awesome and supportive ladies who encouraged each other everyday at work. (Not that these ladies are not encouraging on this blog, but we are all doing our own thing.)

This week I hope to exercise more. We are going to the beach which would be a great opportunity for walking with the family and other things. I also want to relax a little before school starts! My hopes are to go back to school with at least 10 pounds off my gut! That would be a good start. :)

Query

Is it normal to gain 13 pounds in 3 months?

I was just thinking about that GP visit last week, and how she said I was 13 pounds heavier since April.  Surely that's not normal.  Is it?

Research

Websites that I may find helpful in a couple of weeks when I go back to my endo.  I'm going to try for getting a T3 supplement added to my daily medication regimen, as much as I hate taking meds...

• http://www.metabolism.com/2008/08/23/hypothyroid-benefit-t3-cytomel
  Go here and read the comments to this article, especially posts by Frances Gross on Nov 9 2009 (WW and exercise didn't help), Laurie on Feb 7 2010 (1200 calorie diet, obsessive workouts, lost 4 pounds in a year.  Gave up, did whatever she wanted, gained nothing.)
• http://www.mbschachter.com/hypothyroidism.htm
  Renee, start reading at the last paragraph in the introduction. 
• http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/split/Thyroid-replacement.html
  Looks like a message board for doctors or something.  Hard to read.

Color Me....Irked? Irritated? Ticked?

I know...  I should have signed in and reported that my surgery went well.  The day after, I had my first follow up, and the doc acted like he was super impressed with his work.  Loverly.  Fab.  I'd say let's see who notes a difference; however, I told Sylvia about the surgery last month, and she said she had never consciously noticed that my eyes weren't in sync.  Hmm.  Oh well.  *I* knew, and that's all that matters, right?

I'm not motivated to get up and bounce around, but my eye still hurts.  Mind you, it's not now, nor has it ever been, excruciating pain, but it's annoying enough that I'm taking Tylenol (non-name brand).  I'm not popping Tylenol like candy, so that's good, but I'm keeping a headache, my eye is constantly watering, and my eye feels like the muscle's been cut (oh, wait...it has....)  That side of my face also feels bruised and swollen (I keep feeling, and it feels the same as the other side, so it's just my imagination.)

Upside:  I have not gained any weight.

Downside:  I have not lost any weight.

Now, you would think that I would have, wouldn't you?  I had a piece of toast and some cottage cheese for breakfast Monday.  A can of Lentil soup and a piece of toast for lunch.  And half a can of chicken noodle and...something remotely bread-like with it?  A sandwich?  Another piece of bread?  I don't remember.  I do remember that it was only half a can because DD ate the other half.  I drank 64 ounces of water -- or 16 ounces unflavored Pedialyte mixed with 48 ounces water.  It was..odd.  It wasn't the flavor that was altered so much as the texture.  The Pedialyte made it a little thicker, kind of like drinking Gatorade.  (Think about it and whether or not you notice that difference between water and Gatorade.)

The next day, no breakfast (you know, since I was having surgery).  I had to drink something before I could leave, so I had 12 ounces of Gatorade.  And a bite of a really icky saltine-type cracker.  At home, I slept.  When I woke up halfway decently, I had to send Mom off for Tylenol.  Did you know that Walmart does not have name brand Tylenol on the shelf at all?  (I will have to investigate this myself...)  Mom went for Mexican for lunch while she was out and brought it home.  I, a few hours later, opted for toast.  For dinner, rice and a pork chop (but a rather small serving.)

Now, wouldn't you think, after two days of practically not eating, I'd have lost an ounce?  Heck no.  I think at some point during Tuesday, I snuck in to the scale and it said something close to 227.  What?  Are you kidding me?  I mean, this isn't the kind of surgery where they cut into you and add anything -- they just cut on my freakin' eye.  (Which brings up the question...WHY do they ask you to "take off everything and put on this hospital gown; it opens in the back" for surgery that is all above the neck -- above the nose, even?) 

I wasn't quite so good Wednesday.  Indian for lunch (although I ate fairly light) and frozen yogurt for an afternoon snack (small amount drowned in fresh fruit and chopped nuts), plus a very small dinner.  Thursday, I didn't eat much.  I was just sore (maybe I overdid it Wednesday?) and cranky.  (Okay, I had a bad headache from not eating enough by late afternoon.  You'd be cranky, too.) 

I think it said 223.4 today, which kinda gets us back where we were (I think?) on Monday. 

Lab results from last week's doctor appointment came back.  Everything is "normal".  My cholesterol is "getting better', so I need to get back to taking fish oil and niacin (and remember!  everyone can benefit from fish oil!)  I also have a B12 deficiency, but not enough of one to warrant shots.  So, I will be adding a B12 supplement.  The recommended supplement is just a sublingal one (put it under your tongue and let it dissolve).  What I have is a 5000mcg dissolving B12 tablet.  Somewhere I read that, depending on how bad your deficiency is, it may take weeks or months before you start feeling the effects of the B12, but, here goes! 

Now the only other thing I can think of is to convince my endo that I should try taking Cytomel (synthetic T3) with my Levothyroxine (synthetic T4).  Hrm.

Oh...and why color me incensed, inflamed, and infuriated?  I'm working off my netbook.  My laptop's cord has broken -- where the cord goes into the part that plugs into the computer, the wires have snapped.  Therefore, my laptop is currently unusable.  I found a new cord on ebay for $7, and it will arrive either tomorrow or Monday.  I can't do all the things I'd like to do on this netbook.  It's logging me out.  I tried to post comments to other blog posts here, and it kept telling me I needed to sign in to post.  What?  I AM signed in!  My laptop (which is sorely in need of replacement) wouldn't do this to me!  Although, I think I'm straining my eyes to be staring at this screen, which doesn't help the headache. 

Final thoughts:

• Congrats to Dreaming!  Give more details!  Network?  Which network?  WSFA?  Will you be on the news????  (I know...details are hard to come by right now.  I'm cheering for you!)
• Cristin, remember to try to regulate your weight checks to the same time each day.  Although, if you are interested in research...you might track your weight at certain times each day and see if your weight fluctuates the same way each day.  See where your highs and lows are and all that.  Regardless, make sure you weigh-in at the same time.  If you got the Wii Fit (Regular or Plus) and weigh in at a different time, it will remind you that you need to weigh in about the same time each day due to general changes in your body weight throughout the day.  Personally, I like to weigh in the mornings before I eat anything.  I'm thinking about tracking my daily weight on a sheet of graph paper, although the Wii Fit will do that for me (not that I can find Wii Fit Plus right now....)

Alright, I'm out.  Night!

I Stand Corrected

This morning, I was quite upset because I had not heard from anyone. Finally! I will officially start on Wednesday, August 3, 2011. Here's the deal...there is something special underway, which was why they had not contacted me as of yet. Supposedly...a reality show (Yes, that is exactly what you read and I typed) may be in the works. Although I took a nonchalant approach ("Oh, okay"), my head, heart, and total coolness exploded into a "GET THE %$#@ OUT OF HERE!" The representative went on to say 'congratulations' and the meeting with the network would take place this afternoon.

Once again, I'm so excited!

I try not to weigh myself everyday, but having a scale in your house tempts you to weigh everyday, multiple times a day, especially when it's near a room you use quite frequently.

In the last couple weeks, since I started WW (The reason I bought a scale, since I was doing the program online and had to weigh myself.) I have been weighing myself multiple times a day, and almost everyday. I have been good. I've only weighed myself once since Monday, which is weigh-in day. I get really discouraged when I weigh myself everyday because I see my weigh fluctuate greatly.

So, I weighed myself today and I was down -4.3 pounds. I hope that I can maintain that loss and maybe add a little more to it by Monday.

I am going to contribute reorganizing and lifting all those books in the library plus sweating during the process. :) Because it sure wasn't my *completely* healthy eating habits over the last 24 hours for sure.

Ugh!

I'm the kind of person that hates to be disappointed. In fact, I hate to disappoint people, although some occasions, you just cannot help it. However, I have not heard hide or hair from the anyone else regarding my win! I'm trying to remain patient, but shouldn't someone have called me by now? I spoke with the young lady who initiated the contest and was told "they would contact me". Well, guess what? No one has. Let's do the math...I won on Monday. Since then, four days have come (well we are in the fourth, but you know where I'm going with this, right?) and almost gone and not a single solitary word. At this moment, I feel like asking the question, "Am I being punked?"

Is this somehow to get me unmotivated and fail at the challenge before I even begin? Is this some sort of preliminary cat and mouse game? I already know that there will be numerous obstacles to face and overcome, but calling someone and verifying when she can come and meet should not be one of them.

So...now, I'm back to the drawing board. I had anticipated (foolishly) beginning this wonderful journey this week, and therefore did not maintain my other activities. I guess it's time to get on with my hog killing. I just hate the fact that I shared my win and now I am totally disappointed.

I really want to call; however, I'm trying the "waiting" game for one more (or, really three since I have to include the weekend if I don't get "the call" then) day(s).

Not at "Peace"

So Excited

a couple of days ago, i mentioned how i was going to enter a contest on 104.3 regarding a 90 day challenge wonder of wonders, i won! (since i'm submitting via my blacberry, for some reason i can't capitalize , which is driving me crazy.) anyway, the trainer will contact me on tomorrow to get montgomery's version of the biggest loser underway. since i will be in the public "eye", i'll have to stay committed and focused. wish me well ladies.

peace

WW Week 3: The Weigh-In

I was not completely happy with this week's results, but I have to remember I started working out towards the end of the week, I went out with friends to an Italian restaurant (yikes for WW!), and ate a Sisters (which wasn't a total bust) with my family. I might have worked out two days, but I ate GOOD for three. :(

Okay, here's the results: -1.6 pounds this week. Today is a workout day (will have to happen at after class ends at 10:15 PM).

I have been working in my library lately, so I'm sure that movement and lifting counts for some calorie burn, but unfortunately not enough to count.

My goals this week:

• Complete the EA Active 2 set goals for the week: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday workouts
• Rearrange the entire library stacks (not exactly a weighty goal, but that's some seriously moving and lifting!)
• Lose at least another pound (each one is weight lost! I have to be positive and remember this)
• Get ready to go to the beach! :)

She Head-Butted a Goat; I Acted Like a Goat

I don't even want to look at the scales. I don't even want to talk about my deadline (according to Wii Fit) is Thursday. I don't, don't, don't! Dammit! I looked...283! What the heck have I done? I gained five pounds! So, instead of jumping up and down at seeing 273, I'm jumping up and down because I've got 21 days (three weeks) to make that difference of 10 lbs. By George, it shall be done.

Now, I know this seems completely ridiculous, but I made a promise to myself and I know what I have been doing--eating late at night, or rather too early in the morning! Whatever, I have been acting like a complete nimrod. By no means am I going to dwell on this, but I do know I am going to have borrow from both Sam Cook and Seal and no that a Change is Gon' Come!

Ladies, I hope to see you on August 9th with the words, "I did it!" falling from my lips.

Gotta work!

Early Weigh-In

Since I will be out of commission tomorrow morning, I went ahead and weighed in today.  (And I may weigh in Wednesday, too, but we'll see...)  Down from 224.0 to 222.8.  Not a huge difference, but at least it's in the right direction.

Will be eating super light and trying to hydrate today.  I have mixed up my Pedialyte/water solution (16 ounces P and 48 ounces W) and will make sure I drink it throughout the day, plus some additional water.  Had dry toast made out of the Ezekiel 4:9 bread and cottage cheese for breakfast.  (I must say, this bread really isn't as awful as people have said -- I heard it takes getting used to, but, surprisingly, I find that, warm and toasted, it reminds me a lot of the hot wheat bread you get at Longhorn's.  Maybe it's just my overactive imagination.)  Lunch and dinner will consist of either Chicken Noodle or Lentil soup (both Progresso brand).  There is fruit in case I am in need of in-between snackage.

My goal today, with impending surgery tomorrow (that has me stressed out and thinking all sorts of negative things, even though this is a simple, 20 minute, outpatient procedure) is to finish Katy's afghan.  I will need to make a trip to Walmart to buy the appropriate yarn, then will head to Video Warehouse for a movie rental or three, then the permanent farmer's stand (because we NEED tomatoes!)

Think happy thoughts tomorrow.

Walk the Goat

Today's exercise consisted of, yes, walking the goat.

The goat (Billy, Buddy, or Red, depending on who's doing the calling) wears a collar.  He has found a way out of the rather large pen.  Easiest solution?  Slap a leash on that collar and walk him down to the barn and the door to the pen. 

Easy enough, right?

Granddad was leaving at the same time.  The goat wanted to chase Granddad's truck.  That wasn't too bad.  I managed to keep control of the goat, keep him out from in front of the moving vehicle.  No prob.

Dad drove his truck down to the barn.  Again, Buddy wanted to chase the truck.  I think he knew it was Dad, or maybe turning into the long driveway leading down to the barn was incentive.  I'm not sure.  The truck bounced down the red clay driveway, and the goat took off, with me being pulled, running, behind him until I either had to drop the leash for face being drug through red clay.

The goat cleared the truck, turned around and realized I was no longer attached.  What does he do?  Why, come and retrieve me, of course.  He gallops back to where I am, waits patiently while I pick up the leash, and again takes off.  I ran until I couldn't keep up and had to drop the leash again.  (I'm not a fan of the idea of being drug through red clay.  Really, I'm not.)

By this time, Dad is out of the truck, and the goat is inviting him to take the leash, but he's no longer running away (and why should he, since his target has stopped?)  We lead him back into the pen, then on for step two: figure out where the goat is escaping from.

We walked up and down the fence line, Dad trimming away small plants that had grown up to the electric fence wire.  A friend of his drove up, so I wound up having to haul the dogs into the house.  A quick change into pants and enclosed shoes, and I was back outside.  Dad had gone back to the barn, so I walked back down there.  We went inside the fence, where I kept the goat occupied while Dad continued the search and clean up efforts. 

The goat wanted to play, so we head-butted each other.  Okay, he head-butted me, and I either bumped him back with my hips or pushed with my hands.  Either way, he thought it was great play. 

Tomorrow, I'm on a soup diet.  The pre-surgery instructions say "eat light and drink extra fluids."  I know I shouldn't be nervous, but I am.

Get Off Me!

My child has become a constant leech this summer. I love my child, but I feel like telling her (and I do) the same thing that I want to tell my weight, "Get off me!" Both will fall on deaf ears as she refuses to get off me and the weight will not slide from my body.

This morning--I WALKED for thirty minutes. Yesterday morning, I walked two miles and completed a set of exercises developed for yours truly on my EA Active. To get myself motivated again because I have been sitting for more than "30 minutes" per RDP's advice, I am going to pop in Just Dance and maybe work the mini me down to a nub.

Before any of the dancing takes place, I am going to log onto Grooveshark.com and select the following songs to complete some household chores:

• I Like the Way You Move by Outkast featuring Sleepy Brown
• Greenlight by Andre 3000 and John Legend
• Just Fine by Mary J. Blige
• Bad by Michael Jackson
• Rump Shaker by Wrecks N Effect
• Wat Da Hook Gon Be by Murphy Lee
• Hood Boy by Fantasia
• (cool down) Ignition by R. Kelly

Those should hold me as I wash dishes, fold laundry, make the bed, sweep, and complete a sundry of other household tasks.

I'm opting for the Make you Sweat selection on the Just Dance and of course I'll have to dance to Vicki's Tik Tok (I hate that song).

Time is slowly winding down on us, too.

Here is another plan that I was thinking of doing. On 104.3, one of the dj's is running a contest where she is seeking a partner with whom to workout with for the next 90 days. This challenge will have overseers from both dieticians, fitness trainers, and other support. Supposedly we will transform ourselves in 90 days. I am going to choose a "fatty" picture, write a reason (which is simply the truth) as to why I should be selected and see what happens. Wish me luck.

***By the way, thanks guys for the support during my "moment"!***

Another 125 calories burned

Wow, I am burning up not only calories but this blog! This is two posts before noon. Sorry about that guys, but I did at short 15 minute workout on EA Active 2. I feel better. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to do it since my thigh muscles were like jello, but I managed. 125 calories burned in 15 minutes, not bad, eh? That probably burned off my FiberPlus bar I had this morning for breakfast.

WW weigh in is in a couple days, I won't post until then. I'll let the blog cool off for me, lol. :)

Post-Success Story

The EA Sports Active 2 kicked my butt yesterday, but I will say after my circuit workout, I hooked it back up and did some kickboxing and step aerobics last night around 10:30 PM. I will say about 12 hours later, I feel exactly like a.... 80 year old. My thigh-muscles are so sore from squats. I will say this at least, I wouldn't be hurting if my muscles were used, right?

I am waiting on Thomas to be bored with watching "Blue's Clues" and I will do a step aerobic routine before lunch to get the blood flowing. This afternoon is circuit, butt-kicking time! Bring it on! (See if I am still saying this in a week, ok?)

Woo!

I managed 30 minutes of Just Dance!  Celebrate by drinking a cold glass of water (or Gatorade...I think I'm dehydrated...) with me!  (Especially since I've been the one to move the least of the three of us, I think...)

I'm Not So Sure How I Feel About It... (Plus a Reflection [#3])

Yesterday at Publix, I discovered that they sell Ezekiel 4:9 bread (in the freezer section!)  Since it's on Jillian's list of things you can eat on her boost your metabolism food plan, I bought some. 

Let me tell you, it's definitely wheat bread.  Now, I like wheat bread, don't get me wrong.  My favorite is 12 or 15 grain bread.  But this is, like, hard core wheat. 

Breakfast today: 1 slice Ezekiel 4:9 bread and 1 cup lowfat cottage cheese (an A column item and a B column item).  I have taken my B12 (but not my regular meds...need to fix that), and all I can think about is "I like to move it, move it!" (Which means I will be movin' movin' to Just Dance in just a little while.  (Must find 2nd Wii controller for the DD.)

The book I'm skimming now is called Flip the Switch.  It talks about how to get your metabolism motivated.

Get some bright light first thing in the morning.  If you can't open up the curtains or go stand outside in the sun, turn on a bunch of lights.  It will give your body the signal that you need to be awake!  (Sitting next to the screen door with the curtain open, plus 3 lights on, including one super bright light on right above me.  Check!)

Don't do intense exercise first thing in the morning, but do some kind of weight bearing/stretching.  Getting your muscles going will get them to start burning some calories.

Don't sit still for more than 30 minutes, even if it's a minor thing you do for a couple of minutes every 30 minutes.  Do some stretches.  Take a 5 minute walk.  The author keeps resistance bands by his chair (not that he ever sits down, of course!)

Get more oxygen.  Your muscles need oxygen to burn fat!  (Working on periodic deep breathing! Does anyone else get lightheaded from several deep breaths?)  Also, work on improving your posture so your body is better able to get oxygen when you aren't thinking about taking deep breaths and pulling in more O2.

There's more, I'm sure, but we'll start with that.  Sometimes, it takes baby steps, right?

Okay....laundry time, then I've got to Move It, Move It !

Melancholy

So many things have been on my mind of late that the motivation I had in the beginning is dwindling down to shreds. However, as I read Cristin's post tonight, I thought how right she was regarding how exercise makes you feel better. I am in desperate need of released endorphins. Today, I awakened early enough to walk and workout and I didn't do either. Damn.

I traveled to Troy and scarfed down a Frosty! Yes, what was I thinking? I wasn't. Wait, yes, I was. I was thinking how hard it was raining, how the inches I have lost have come from my behind, the area that didn't need work, and how I'm tired of juggling bills. In other words, my stress level is rising. I hate that. It all begin with the impending thought of school starting soon and my child in need of school clothes and my not having a penny (literally) to spare. I freaking hate I went back to school and I hate that I have student loan debt and I hate that I feeling this way when I should lay all of this on the altar. (Sorry, I just needed to vent.)

So now, I'm motivated again. Thanks, Cristin. I had the nerve to write my dates on the calendar and now I'll have to go back and redo it. Yes, I'm the kind of anal person that I have to no just how many days I have to make a life change and stick with it.

I know the two of you are going to split into two pieces when I admit that I'm ready to go back to work. I can't believe it myself. Here's the reason. I need structure. When I'm working, I have a tendency to eat breakfast before 7:30; look forward to a snack at break; eat a sensible lunch; and drive home to eat a meal before 6:30 or later catches me. Even though I have been burning calories, I have to stay awake until 1 or 2 am because my crazy tail didn't start eating until 9:00 because after my walk (when I do it), I could care less for cooking. Whatever argument you are going to give me ...feggedaboutit because I've already had the same argument countless times.

My mind is my biggest setback. Let's see if I can stick with it. Help me Cristin by asking me the million dollar question...Have you been Active on your Wii? Plus, you can drive the nail home a little deeper by replying I have and I feel great!

If I don't get back to moving, I'm going to move from dreaming about my high heels to watching them on my child's feet as she prances out the door on a date.

Peace.

I'm Tired!

As I may have said earlier...I was up a little before 4am and couldn't go back to sleep.  I used the time to go bargain-hunting on the computer. 

A little after 9, we set out.  I mostly parked about as far away from the front door as I could for each place we went.  Back of the lot at TRU, in front of Lane Bryant to go into Target and Michael's (location chosen because we were also going to go to Barnes & Noble.  The spot was between Target and B&N, and we were going to go to Michael's, Target, stop to drop stuff off at the car, the to B&N and back to the car.  Rain and time cut off that last bit of wandering...)  Parked to the left of Shoe Carnival and halfway down the parking lot, then walked to Office Max.  Parked halfway down the lot at Publix, too.  (I realize, there may be some issues here...I mean....you have to know the set ups of these places to see that it's a bit of a walk.)  Of course, I didn't have the pedometer on.

Home and so, so tired now.

Success!

So after much thought and consideration, I ordered EA Sports Active 2 for Wii on Tuesday. It arrived via my favorite UPS guy today! I was like a child at Christmas-time (Ask me if I'm still excited after a week, that will be the test.) Thankfully, Thomas as asleep upfront, so I set up the Wii, the Active 2 game, and got to sweating. Seriously sweating.

I got everything set up, go to working. The circuit consisted of 22, yes 22, 1-2 minute exercises. I set it on the cardio version of the game and set out exercising. It all started off nicely, soon, I realized my fat, out of shape self could barely keep up. Okay, so yes we are talking about a cardio workout, but at my age I should be in a lot better shape than it. The game set up a 4 day exercise schedule. I exercise M, T, TH, F for about 20-25 minutes (It depends on the time it takes me to complete the exercise.) Honestly, after completing the circuit 26 minutes later I feel... sweaty, tired, but yet better. I forgot how great exercising makes you feel. I also realized that I am not a morning exerciser. Morning exercising makes me feel more tired and less energized. This makes sense to me since I am NOT an afternoon person: I'm usually nodding off, incoherent, and out of it. I realized a while back (In my college days when I was far less heavy) that I could combat my afternoon zombie-like behavior by exercising.

Okay, my goal: I stick to my workout program set by EA for the next week (we are going day-by-day at this point.)

I Was Up Early Today, Too

I woke up at 3:49 or so this morning...bathroom trip.  Usually, while it may take a few minutes, I can (and do!) drift back to sleep.  This morning, I started thinking of all the things that could go wrong in surgery, and *poof*!  No more sleep for me!

DD has a doctor's appointment in Dothan this morning, so I spent time getting together coupons and a shopping list.  :)

Yeah...should have woke up and exercised.  Shame on me.  Soon, though, soon!

Last night, I made tacos.  I did two fillings that were virtually identical, except one had ground turkey breast instead of ground round.  Brown meat, add in seasonings (garlic, chili powder, pepper, cumin, salt), 1 can rotel, and black beans.  Heat until completely heated through and most of the liquid has cooked off.  Serve in tortillas with condiments of choice.  (Or, in my child's case, over unseasoned ramen noodles.  She won't eat the tortillas.)

Cool, fresh tomatoes just make a spicy dish like that.  How healthy is it?  I dunno.

Hey, got a craving?  Don't forget to indulge -- just control the amount of indulgence.  You are less likely to binge on a controlled answer to the craving now, then waiting until the craving just DEMANDS to be answered a week or two later.

Sigh

I awakened early enough to do the following:

• Walk for one hour (2-3 miles)
• Complete Wii Active exercise session
• Attempt the advanced Obstacle Course on Wii Fit

I did the following:

• Nothing...

So, that's all I'm going to say about that. To date, I have walked 5.5 miles since last week. Plus, I ate a hamburger and a peanut butter chocolate wafer snack. Did I mention I washed the no-no down with a cup of milk. Oh yes, it was delicious.

Wait, I forgot! I did do something! I mowed the lawn. Sure, I was riding, but the motion of the mower coupled with the time of day (around 3:30) made for a good sweat. I should think that counts.

Although I DON'T see a great deal of loss on the scale, I am noticing a difference in clothing. No lying on the bed to button and zip pants. Hmmm...

Let's see what I do tomorrow since I take lovely child to camp and then the library.

Sweet and Sour Glazed Chicken - 7 PointsPlus

So, I am not trying to make everyone hungry while reading this, but I have gotten out my Weight Watcher cookbooks and scoured the WW website for delicious recipes.

I have really wanted Asian food since I started WW, and that's pretty much a no-no unless you get steamed veggies. Well, I can go buy frozen stir-fry veggies and steam those. That's not ASIAN! I found this Sweet and Sour Chicken recipe. It looked interested. 7 PointsPlus per serving (1 cup and generous!) + brown rice makes the total for 1/2 cup rice & 1 cup chicken = 12. Not bad for a dinner. The chicken was good enough to eat without the rice. I just like rice--duh, it's Asian!

Here's the WONDERFUL recipe I made:

1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
4 t cornstarch
4 t low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 C ketchup
3 T honey
2 T rice vinegar
2 t Asian (dark) sesame oil
2 t grated peeled fresh ginger
1 green bell pepper, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 onion, chopped
1 (8-ounce) can pineapple chunks in juice, drained and juice reserved

1. Combine chicken, 2 t cornstarch, and 2 t soy sauce in bowl; toss to coat chicken.
2. Stir ketchup, honey, vinegar, reserved pineapple juice, 2 t cornstarch, and 2 t soy sauce in a small bowl until blended.
3. Heat 1 t sesame oil in large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken and cook stirring often, until the chick is lihgly browned (4-5 minutes). Transfer to plate.
4. Heat 1 t sesame oil in the same skillet; add the ginger. Cook ginger for about 30 seconds or until fragrant -- stir constantly!
5. Add the bell pepper and onion to the skillet. Cook until softened (2-3 minutes) stirring often.
6. Stir in the chicken and pineapple and cook 2 minutes longer.
7. Stir in the ketchup mixture, and cook on high heat, stirring constantly until the mixture comes to a boil and thickens (about 1-2 minutes -- I cooked it longer.)

Nutritional Information:
Servings = 4
Calories = 294
Fat = 6 g
Saturated Fat = 1 g
Trans Fat = 0 g
Cholesterol = 70 mg
Sodium = 412 mg
Carbohydrates = 33 g
Fiber = 2 g
Protein = 27 g
Calcium = 35 mg

Weight Watchers PointsPlus value of 7 per one cup serving!

Yoga! (Or, wow, am I out of shape!)

I took my child to the library this afternoon.  I had spent the better part of an hour using the online card catalog trying to find books for both of us (I must have been successful...I checked out 15 books today...)  When we first got in, I guided her to the Juvenile Non-Fiction section.  While I was looking for books on my list, she picked up a book called The Kids' Yoga Book of Feelings.  It was the first thing she pulled out of the bag when we got home, and she quickly went through the book, trying to copy the pictures of the poses.

One pose is called the chameleon.  You and a friend are supposed to face each other and do the cobra pose (laying on your stomach, put your hands by your shoulders and lift up, bending at your hips.  Everything below your hips stays on the floor while you stretch your upper body towards the ceiling.)  Then, she wanted to exercise together.

Since she's sooooo interested in yoga, I grabbed my never-before-used-but-been-in-the-house-for-about-two-years copy of The Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga dvd.  Rolled out the yoga mats and programmed the workout for Warm-Up (5 min), Level 1 (20 min), and Cool Down (5 min). 

DD (that's "Dear Daughter") gave out (got bored?) before the warm up was over.  I made it about 5 minutes into the workout, muscles sore and shaking.  Goal tomorrow: get farther into it.  (Do this earlier!  When it's cooler!)

At some point I should note that I did get 5105 steps the other day.  Need to get more....  One day at a time. 

Question about Reflections

I suppose I should ask if you all are okay with me "reflecting" on the books I'm reading here?   It certainly fits in with the "rambling" aspect of the title.

Reflections Part 2

Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth

I've had this book pretty much since it came out.  I started reading it, but, like so many others, never finished.  (What, me?  Not finish a book?  It happens...)

Last night, I decided it was time to get to reading in it, although I will admit that I did more skimming than actual reading.

The author does retreats for women in which you go off for at least a weekend to learn about how to get over your obsession with food.  (That's the short version, at least.)  In this book, she starts off talking about one such retreat.  She also spends a lot of time talking about her own experiences with food.

Some people will likely feel better knowing that she was fat herself and did spend a large chunk of her life yo-yo dieting before she finally learned how to get past the dieting stage.  She gives a lot of personal anecdotes that I really mostly just skimmed through (although, I did read the cat story, and it was pretty cute.)

Roth seems to deal mostly in emotional eating.  You eat because you have a void in your life, and somewhere along the way you've learned that you can fill that void with food.  Then, beyond the emotional, we eat often when we are not hungry, because the food is there, because in our minds it's sinful to waste food.

Admit it.  We've all been there.  Whether it's the old "children are starving in Africa" routine that TV moms promote or just that thought of "I paid so much for this, I'm not going to let it go to waste."  Or even, "This is just soooo good....I can't stop eating it!"

The point that the book is trying to make is that we have to head off that relationship with our food.  Break it.  It's okay if we don't eat everything on our plates.  If it's not okay, maybe we need smaller plates and smaller servings.  (More about that, perhaps, later.)

We need to heal our relationships with God.  Stop questioning what happens and accept it.  It's in God's plan.  Roth portrays this with the story about her cat.  She was mean to it one day (or felt she was excessively mean) and tossed it out into the yard.  After a couple of hours, they tried to find the cat and could never get him to come in the way they usually did.  The next morning, they found the poor kitty dead under one of the bushes in the yard.  She felt guilt -- it's my fault the cat has died.  They took the cat to the vet for an autopsy to find out why/how he really died, and it was an undiagnosed heart defect.  She continued to feel guilty until a friend helped her realize that it wasn't her fault.  The cat died because it was the cat's time to die.  He'd had a good life, and he lived as long as he should have lived.

We do this a lot.  We stress over things that we have no control over.  I think it may be a large part of what makes us human.  We know that, eventually, something is going to happen, and we have to trust in God that He's the one in control and things will go the way He wants them to go.  We have to stop relying on food to calm us in our stress or to be our comfort.  We have to have faith that things are happening the way they are meant to happen.  (That doesn't mean take a passive approach to things we can change, but if you know you can't change it, if you know there's nothing you can do to make it different, accept that it's happened the way it was supposed to happen and move forward.)

Roth also suggests meditation, which is something that Jillian Michaels suggested in her book.  (And for some insight on meditation, read Eat, Pray, Love.)  She says that it helps, once you learn to mediate, to calm you down and change your focus.

Meditation in hard.  Your goal is to focus on a single thing or to completely clear your mind.  Sit quietly for a moment.  Go on, close your eyes and breathe slowly for two minutes.  I'll wait.

Okay, how many things crossed your mind during those two minutes?  Did you think about all the things that usually stress you out (what should I fix for dinner tonight?  I wish my husband would stop doing that thing that's so stupid.  I need to schedule this appointment, make a shopping list, etc.)  That's why the Hindu meditate using a repeated word.  (Yeah, think "Ohm.....ohm.....ohm...")  You focus on the word instead of all the stresses of the day.  Yeah, I haven't mastered that, either, but I haven't tried.

Walking in Jeans

Yesterday, I reset my Wii Active Personal Trainer to begin the 30 Day Challenge (AGAIN!), and promised I would follow the schedule exactly. Somehow, I have yet to do the first exercise. Therefore, I am set to begin on tomorrow and will follow the program to the letter. I don't know why I am a slacker on this tool because I like doing the exercises. I suppose this is another "matter" winning over "mind". In other words, I know that a great deal of the matter is that I need to exercise, but I allow my mind to overrule the idea of looking like a complete idiot in front of both my husband and child. The killer in the whole matter is neither one of them will interrupt me during my exercise sessions. However, I did WALK, but oh how hard it is to do when you have a child in tow. Regardless of my greatest efforts to persuade her not to come, follow me, indeed she did. Can we say I got tired from having to continuously say, "Come on!" "Keep up with, Mommy!" and finally, "Leave the dog alone!" Needless to say, I barely squeaked out a mile.

Today, on the other hand, was a different story. I agreed to meet my friend Tina at the Rec to walk and have our daughters enjoy the kiddie water park. The indoor track, conveniently located upstairs, takes a full nine laps to make a mile. I started strong and encouraged my friend to walk her pace and not mine, since I easily outweigh her by 120 lbs. You know ego is a strange beast. When she did eventually pull ahead of me as we entered the fourth lap, the competiveness in me vowed not to let her pass me--regardless of what it took. I held my own for seven more laps, and then fatigue began to settle in my bones. Nevermind the fact that my dumb ass had on jeans. Sure, the jeans are quite loose from where I first started, but still they were jeans. The purpose of wearing them was to increase my sweat pull. Entering the eleventh lap, I saw her close to closing the gap, and I shot off and sprinted for a full twenty seconds. My sudden burst of speed was so comical that in spite of the "zone" Tina was in, she had to surrender to the laugh that bubbled in her stomach. When I tell you I was exhausted when I finally called it quits after completing lap 19, that is no lie. What prompted the stop? I couldn't deal with my now retired college professor lapping me as he power-walked past me. He is close to 70! Tina, who had yet to lap me, laughed heartily when she came up on my profusely sweating self collapsed on the wrought iron bench nearest the elevators. She convinced me to walk a cool down lap and save for the grace of God, I wouldn't have made it.

This evening, I enjoyed a light dinner of grilled fish, steamed broccoli, and buttered pasta. Yes, I know the pasta should have been whole wheat--SUE ME. Tomorrow, I am scheduled to go to the very doctor who stipulated I lose twelve pounds per month beginning in January. Guess what? Goal not met, and I will not be making that appointment. Let's be honest, I'm not ready. What is the point of forking over $30 to hear the same? That would be completely stupid on my part.

I believe I am a misdiagnosed thyroid sufferer. Every doctor has always asked, "Do you have a thyroid problem?" and it is based on my eyes because they have a slight quality of protruding from the sockets. Amazingly, I always pass the test.

Peace.

Reflections Part I

I've got several books on weight loss and such.  I'm going to take some time to read some of these (or at least skim the important parts) and reflect upon what I'm reading.  I'll start with this one:

Jillian Michaels' Mastering Your Metabolism
"Mastering Hypothyroid" pages 219-221

"The most common cause of hypothyroid is Hashimoto's disease, an autoimmune condition i which the immune system attacks and damages the thyroid, impairing your ability to make thyroid hormones."

"Follow the Master diet -- with a few modifications."  Cook goitrogenic cruciferous veggies (cabbage, broccoli, and the like.  No raw broccoli!)  No multivitamins with iron or any cholesterol-lowering medications or eat anything with iron, calcium, soy, or high fiber close to when you take your thyroid medication.  (Knew all this already, though.)

Exercise and relax daily because cortisol (stress hormone) interferes with converting T4 to T3.

No iodine supplements.

Supplement with vitamin D, zinc, and fish oil.  (Everyone should take fish oil.)  40 mg zinc, 200 mg selenium.  Get vitamin D by being outside at least 10 minutes outside per day.

Take Levothyroid and Cytomel  together. 

{End book information...for the moment...}

Today at the GP, I asked about T3 and T4 and asked her to test everything.  (And send results to the endo!)  That way I can (maybe) discuss this (taking Cytomel [T3 replacement] with Lovethyroid [T4 replacement)] as an option (with the endo!)

I need to check the multivitamin I usually take (when I take one) for zinc and selenium.  And, per the GP, I bought some B-12.

Jillian's Master Plan Diet (meant to get you working out the kinks in your metabolism) has a sort of a cheat sheet -- for each of 4 meals per day (breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack and dinner) where you pick 1 item from list A and one item from list B.  She has a two week meal plan with recipes included, but she also has eggs for most of the breakfasts.  Eggs (which I don't eat) will make me turn away from most diet plans.  Why do diet plans include eggs as the main breakfast choice.  However, I should be able to swap out those breakfast choices for an A/B choice. 

The one thing I really hated at the GP is that I told her that I chose healthier options (like fresh veggies with hummus), and she automatically assumed that I'm eating fresh veggies with half the tub of hummus instead of the two tablespoons you're supposed to eat.  It's like, hell, chick.  You're fat.  You're eating healthier but still gaining weight; therefore, you must still be overeating.  I know I overeat sometimes, but I didn't get fat from overeating.  I got fat because my metabolism quit.  That's what thyroid problems do to you.  Just because you are on thyroid hormone replacement therapy does not mean that, when your thyroid hormones are at a "normal" level, you will automatically shed pounds.  There are some of us who gain weight (for whatever reason) because of the medication.  There are some of us whose metabolisms are so bad that we could virtually quit eating and still gain weight.  (You want to talk depressing?  Drop to a 1200-1500 calorie "diet" and either lose no weight or gain weight.  Go on a "diet" that everyone hypes only to start immediately gaining weight.  Change nothing, and gain weight.  And then, to go talk to a doctor and ask to be helped and be told to eat less.  Depressing beyond all belief.)  It's at that point that you just stop talking because you know that you aren't going to be believed and you're being patronized -- hey, she's not fat...she's probably never had a weight problem in her life.  *sigh*

I should also note that Jillian says there are a lot of other things you should do to help balance out your metabolism.

• Eat organic whenever possible
• No artificial sweeteners, including Splenda (get rid of the diet sodas!)
• Processed (white) grains (even whole grains; read the ingredient list to make sure it says 100% whole [insert name of grain here])
• Avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup (read labels carefully because it's in everything!) and be aware that they are trying to change the name of HFCS to "Corn Sugar".
• Avoid artificial colors and preservatives (there are some good articles about this on fooducate.com.  Note that the FDA has decided that there are no problems with some artificial colorings, but many of them are banned in the European Union.)
• Avoid added glutamates, such as MSG.
• Less than stellar food choices include: starchy root vegetables, tropical or dried or canned fruits (no more than one serving per day), excess soy (bad for thyroid, too, even if some people think it's a wonder food), excess alcohol (drink red wine), full fat dairy and fatty meats, canned foods (because cans are lined with BPAs), and caffeine.

Doctor Aftermath 7/12

"I'm concerned about my weight and how easily I'm gaining it right now."

"Have you thought about the lap band?"

Again?  Really?  *sigh*  Are the people who make the lap band paying these people lots of $$$ to promote this procedure?  If I go to my endo next month and he makes the suggestion, I think I will give up and start thinking seriously about it.  Or, if I get to next summer and haven't seen much progress, I will start inquiries.

That's reasonable, right?  I think so. 

When I said I didn't want to go that route yet (I mean, we ARE talking about surgery here.  Who wants to voluntarily have abdominal surgery?  I'm not even sure I want to voluntarily have eye surgery.), what is the next suggestion?  Weight Watchers.  Hrmph.  Journal your food intake.  Or do NutriSystem.

Okay.  What I need is something that is going to boost my metabolism.  While following a diet plan may (or may not) help my weight loss efforts, it does NOT affect my metabolism.  It doesn't.  When I go back to even semi-normal eating habits, my weight will, again, skyrocket up.  I know this.  You know this...it's normal even without a metabolism-killing thyroid problem.  I need to be exercising, building muscle, etc.

So, okay...how about my nearly complete lack of energy? 

It could be several things.  Including a B-12 deficiency.

Okay....  Can we just do a whole workup?  Thyroid (send it to my endo!) including TSH, T4, T3 and antithyrogen (or whatever that's called), check my sugar, check my vitamins...check EVERYTHING.

Supposedly, it will be done.  (Although, sugars have been checked before, and they, so far, remain normal.)

There HAS to be an explanation.  I don't eat THAT much.  Maybe I need to fast for a day or two and "reset".  (A day won't necessarily hurt you.)

Really?!?

224??  How am I gaining weight?  How?

I really would like to cry this morning.  I was more active last week than I have been, haven't changed my eating habits (but I generally don't eat tons anyway...)  Yesterday, I had fresh tomato, cucumber, and carrots with hummus for breakfast, Italian wedding soup and half a sandwich (wheat bread, olive oil mayo, and roasted chicken) for lunch...I did have a small slice of cake, but not enough that it should be a diet-buster, and green beans and stroganoff for dinner.  Not the healthiest dinner, but, still.  Have to balance out the calories somewhere, right?

Did I go overboard over the weekend?  No.  Expensive water park prices will keep you from going back for more food.  Not the healthiest food, either; however, I had somewhat healthy dinners to balance out the not-so-healthy lunches.  Regardless, we are talking about the kinds of things I would normally eat and not try to "balance" with "healthier" options...just eat what I want and be fine.

And I gain two pounds?  I think I have the right to cry.  Going to the doctor in a little while for a followup for higher cholesterol and going to ask about testing the sugar while we're at it, am I retaining water, and what to do about low energy.  Ugh.

PS -- Read this today on about.com's thyroid site.  I need to be reading and re-reading Mary Shomon's Living Well with Hypothyroidism and Thyroid Diet books.  I really do.

"Many thyroid patients experience water retention and bloating, even when receiving treatment for hypothyroidism. Martha wrote in to share her solution:

Just wanted to share this with you...one of my problems with hypothyroidism is water retention, despite the 80 ounces of water I drink daily. My doctor suggested I try 16 oz. unflavored Pedialyte mixed with 48 oz. water and drink this mixture two consecutive days weekly. After the first day, I noticed a significant difference! After the second day, I weighed 1.5 lbs. less. Water retention isn't a problem for me anymore!!! Maybe this will help others. Thanks for your inspiration and support. ~ Martha B."

(Sources: ahttp://thyroid.about.com/b/2007/07/02/help-for-bloatingwater-retention-in-thyroid-patients.htm)

Yeah..I think I'm going to go buy me some Pedialyte today. 

After the weekend...

So I got to chill at the beach this weekend.  I didn't know, necessarily, when I went how long I would be gone.  My aunt needed a few days out, and she wanted to be gone until Sunday.  We left Friday morning and picked her up (she lives about a 40 minute drive away), then headed straight down. 

We started at the water park.  Now, my favorite attraction at the water park is the lazy river.  The thing that you must understand about the lazy river is, for me, it's anything but lazy.  I don't get to drift slowly along the "river", lounging in an over-sized inner tube.  I have to swim, walk, and/or run the length of it, because my lovely child refuses to just relax and be lazy.  My job is to chase her through the pool, generally submerged up to my neck in the 3 feet deep water, somewhere between swimming and walking in a lunge.  The pool is around 2,000 feet long, so three laps means I've swum/walked/whatever at least a mile, right?

I'm not so good in the "tadpole" area.  I might lounge in a chair or sit in the shallow water, but mostly because the water IS shallow, and it's really a little kiddie area.  The water is deep enough in places that I can lay on my stomach (head up and out of the water) and float on top while I pull myself along with my arms (getting some upper body strength exercises in, right?)  Of course, this can only be done in low crowds (which, thankfully, is pretty much what we had this weekend.)

The "Skull Island" area is another hot spot that we love.  It's a large pool that averages about 2.5 feet in depth.  There is a slide and a large area next to the slide that remains largely unpopulated.  It's a great area to swim (plus this is mostly where my child taught herself how to swim).  The middle has some stuff that sprays water about and tends to be where the kids and doting/helicopter parents stay.  On the other side of that, there is now a play area just off the pool.  There is a slide, water that sprays everywhere (and the kids can go up and spray water on people and such) and a dunk tank. There's also some room on the other side of it with nothing to attract people, so they tend to stay away from it, providing another spot you can do a little swimming.

The zoom flume (mat slides) require a hike uphill at a fairly steep but variable slope...but the truly steep slope is to get to the family raft ride.  My child RUNS up while I walk as fast as I can, on my toes, panting and heart hammering.  It's a 60' tall tower, and the ramp runs the length of the speed slide that comes down from the top of the tower, plus there's a bunch of stairs to get to the top platform.

The wave pool provides exercise from trying to stay in one place during the waves to swimming about between wave sessions.  (Since,  you know, the wave pool pretty much clears out as soon as the waves stop.)

All that, for two days, plus a few walks on the beach and (where possible) not taking the closest parking space to the building.

Now, of course, I didn't have a pedometer, so I don't have a step count.  Not that I would have trusted the pedometer to survive the water.  But, how do you translate that activity to the goal?  Can it be translated, or should it be translated?

That's the same trail my thoughts go down when I start thinking of things I'd like to do...like...yoga...or  fluidity.  Of course...using My Personal Trainer on the DS does translate activity entered into mileage.  Is that fair?  Hrm...What do you think?

Weigh-In Monday

Okay, today my Week 2 on Weight Watchers yielded a 1.0 pound loss. I look at this and feel deflated, but I do realize that as long as I am losing and not gaining I am doing well.

My 6 mile goal for walking during the weekend did not happen. I'm not really sure as to why I didn't walk, but I really feel until I finish graduate school on August 5th, no serious time can be carved out of my day for walking. This is frustrating because I am tied to the computer for 4 hours and 15 minutes two days a week PLUS hours and hours of writing, researching, reading, and studying... This is all excuses, yes I know.

Look, my positive outlook on life right now is that I lost one pound.

I need to get creative with indoor exercises, besides housework...

Back to Basics

Okay, I have not been on my game, which is why I am posting "early" this morning because I mean to get back. One of the primary things I have to do to get back in the game is to count how many weeks are remaining before school begins. From my count, we have five weeks before our first day back and six weeks before "their" (the little minions) first day back. I firmly believe I can make a phenomenal difference in my overall look within that time frame.

Today, I am implementing the following program (geared towards movement only):
1. Wii Active Personal Trainer--restart the 30 Day Challenge (lol)
2. Eat healthy throughout the day
* (OMG, Sunny from the Food Network looks amazing...she has lost some serious weight, although the majority of her weight is hips and behind. Now, I'm really inspired).
3. Clean: mop floors, laundry, vacuum, and attack child's room to completion.
4. WALK and I am going to have to push for four miles. Yes, I am going to attempt to walk four miles daily over the course of the remaining five weeks. Is this possible? Certainly!

The key to my success will lie in moving. It's just like the animals in Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa, "I like to move it, move it, move it!"

Until next time, I shall report my weigh-in on Thursday. Have a great day!

I Can't Believe it Myself

I didn't post yesterday because it was my sixth wedding anniversary, and I really enjoyed the day. As a matter of fact, my husband and I didn't do anything special; however, the day in itself was quite pleasant as I watched my daughter and cousins bounce around inside a gigantic water trough and "swim" lazily around. My mom-in-law, sisters-in-law, and nieces enjoyed fresh snacks from my mother's garden, which included tomatoes, cucumbers, and lettuce lightly seasoned with salt and pepper and splashes of vinegar. A consumed the butt end of a long desired watermelon, and then we christened mom's blender. She had owned the thing over two years and had never cracked the seal. You have got to love her. The blender gave birth to multiple batches of fresh strawberry daiquiries (virgin!) and the afternoon melted into peace and happiness. By that time it was all said and done, I really didn't feel like walking and I had a child extremely exhausted from playing at both camp and in the water. Thankfully, I had worked out on my Active Wii Personal Trainer. Until tomorrow!

Encouragement

As I walked in the door a little while ago, I received a text message asking why I hadn't posted. She was concerned that I was feeling discouraged or possibly needed words of encouragement. I think that we don't realize how a simple text message, phone call, or even a "hello" can mean the difference between a I'm-feeling-so-fat-I just-want-to-die and a I-think-I-can-do-this mentality. I really am lucky to have two wonderful, encouraging, and awesome ladies in this journey with me. Without their encouragement and seeing the effort and enthusiasm they are putting into their journeys, I don't know if I would be able to go this alone.

So, it's officially day 8 of WW. (Weigh in day is Monday -- I try not to weigh everyday because that really does discourage me. But now that I have scales at my house, I do weigh myself too many times a DAY!) We went to Red Lobster for dinner tonight. Had some great food (grilled chicken, scallops, and shrimp) and even had a cheese biscuit (It was SO hard to resist, but I had been frugal with my daily points to account for a biscuit, or two). I think the part of WW I like the most is that you don't always have to deprive yourself of temptations, as long as you stay within your daily points value.

On Wednesday, I walked 2.5 miles (that included a 1.5 mile walk in the early morning + cleaning/running errand). Thursday, I did not walk. I am off to a rough start, but I know it will get better. It's hard waking up at 6 AM on a SUMMER morning to exercise when you know it will still be really hot and you are supposed to be sleeping in because it's your SUMMER VACATION! But I will soon get over this. I hope to make the morning walk a routine even as school starts back the third week in August.

Hopefully this weekend, I will be able to get in morning walking with my son and husband. I love walking with someone. It seems to make the drudgery of walking a little less boring. I seem to walk longer and at a quicker pace when I walk with someone (it doesn't hurt to walk with someone who is skinny and in shape! They tend to walk really fast and you have to keep up.).

My goal for the weekend, at least 6 miles. Monday is weigh in day -- I'll post the results of my first full week of being on WW.

All right...fine...I can post. :p

Today wasn't a great day.  I couldn't get motivated to do anything.  What did I really want to do?  Sleep.  Just a decent one or two hour nap, really, is that too much to ask?

Every time I would start to really drift off...."Mommy!"  Huh? What?  Mrph.  When the phone rang and really startled me out of my half-sleepiness, I think that's when I gave up.  Still didn't feel great.

I think part of it is the heat.  I need to be working on Katy's afghan, and yet...it's too hot!  I need to be getting up and moving, but even in the A/C it seems like any exertion results in pouring sweat.

I did pedal on my fake stationary bicycle for around 20 minutes.  That's something, at least.

Yoga.  I need to do yoga.

Tomorrow...I will be at the beach, chasing Katy through Shipwreck Island.  Nothing really healthy to be had there for lunch, but swim-running the lazy river, then swimming around Skull Island ought to count for something.

If I don't post for a couple of days, I'm still at the beach.  No idea how long we're staying.  ;)

Walking...My Elixer

Finally, I was able to walk today. Instead of traveling to the park, where I normally walk, I decided to map a different route. I fired up my 1999 Ford Escort ZX2, cleared the odometer, and drove the path I wanted to walk. The total distance was 2.5 miles. I drove back home, attached my dying pedometer (yes, it died en route) to my hip, and set out a-walking.

I passed one of my relatives sitting outside eating a delicious slice of watermelon, and wow was I tempted to turn around and beg for a slice. However, the goal of walking was a greater taste in my mouth. I took the "y" in the road and after walking on it about three minutes, looked to the left of me, which is a woody area and spied a fox. A FOX! So, I remained calm, but my heartrate increased significantly as I wondered aloud, "Do foxes attack humans?" Obviously not, since I made it by and continued on my way.

Towards the end of my walk, I was running out of steam and having to do mini bets in my head to remain motivated. For instance, I challenged myself to be at particular mailboxes within certain time frames. Thankfully, I made all my challenges and even beat my time twice. Then I heard the vehicle slow...it was my sister-in-law and her son. GREAT! "Do it, girl!" Okay, so it was just a motivation tug. WRONG! Now, she's rolling slowly beside me, tantalizing me with the want of hopping in, and demanding she take me home. "You doing it, ain't ya?" Well, hell, who else is doing it? "Yes, I have to see what I can accomplish by December." In my head I screamed, "DRIVE and LEAVE ME ALONE!" There must have been a crazed look on my face because she suddenly stated, "I'll just talk with you when you get home, okay?" I waved farewell and watched longingly as she headed homeward.

Since I didn't meet my Wii Fit goal by .5 (son of a .....), I set another goal to have four pounds lost in two weeks. So, my new weekly weigh-in days will be Thursdays. This morning, I weighed exactly 278 lbs. Yes! Now, I hope to maintain this and I am going to really try not to weigh myself again until next Thursday morning.

Today has just been one of those days where everything fell into place like magic...thank you LORD!

Peace.

Complete Bust

I awakened this morning ready to stab the day with renewed efforts to winning the battle of weight gain. At the end of the day, I lost. Big time. This is how it happened.

First, I weighed...like every morning and saw that I had not gained or loss any weight. Okay, fine. Then I did my Wii Fit morning routine to learn that I needed to lose 1.3 lbs to meet my weight loss goal of five pounds. I'm really excited. Somehow, I became a whirlwind and quickly cleaned the living room, dining room, kitchen (sorry, I went to bed without washing dishes because I was soooo sleepy last night), folded laundry, and put on another load of laundry. Plus, I began breakfast. Somehow, my mind must have taken a turn because before I knew anything, I was sitting at the table mapping out what I needed to purchase from both Wal-Green and CVS. Mind you, I wasn't planning on going to Troy today.

My daughter had a play date with her bff and I remained with her because I LOVE her mom just as much as my child loves her child. Three hours later, the extent of my exercise has come from moving forward and then back on the oh so comfortable couch of my dear friend. The two of us discussed weight issues (as if she really has any...her overall goal is to lose 10 lbs! She'd accomplished it from where I sat) and laughed at the areas we would improve if plastic surgery funds ever dropped magically from the sky. I'm still looking towards the heavens hoping for a miracle.

So, I did not work on my Active Personal Trainer, nor did I walk my designated 3.5 miles. This has really got to end. Shoot, while I'm confessing, I might as well add the following deadly no-nos:
1. I ate pizza for dinner.
2. I ate half a bag of dill pickle chips (I'm still trying to figure out why I did that one)
3. I ate some of my daughter's frozen chocolate pudding.
4. I f*&(^%d up, but I am not going to dwell on it.

In the words of Scarlett O'Hara..."As God is my witness...I'm going to live through this." Yes, I know the rest is that she'll never go hungry again, but that would completely ruin the point I'm making that I have not given up. I lost this race today, but I still qualify for the marathon.

Peace.

Day Two. Hrmph.

I officially hate scales at the doctor's office.  Or, in this case, at anesthesia assessment at Flowers Hospital.  Blah.

According to it, I weigh 225 pounds, 3 pounds above my "oh, hell no, you aren't getting above that" mark.  Going over all my information with the overly friendly nurse, I joked that my main problem is just my weight; "If you got a magic answer for that, I'm game."

"Well, have you tried Weight Watchers?"

Hrm.  I don't have a great history with the WW set.  I dislike being badgered to join, and that "Don't you ever want to get a man" comment just killed anything love I might have ever had for WW.  She said she didn't blame me.

Then, she handed me a pamphlet for Bairatric Surgery and the name of some one in that area who has undergone the Lapp Band procedure and counsels patients for that.

See me...NOT amused.

Anywho...I'm all set for eye surgery on the 19th.  When I went in to the eye doctor for a second round of measurements, my left/right drift was the same, but up/down, he said it was all over the place and is what they in the profession call a "googly eye".  So, they can only correct for the left/right drift.  It still will not help with my vision...but....it's something, right?

So, today is the first day of the "500 Mile Challenge". Unlike my counterparts, I am not brave enough to post my weight -- I will leave that CONFIDENTIAL information for only the eyes of my doctor and Weight Watchers Online! :) We will just simply say, that I have 150 pounds to lose in order to get to the goal weight and BMI for my height of 5'5".

This is officially day 7 of Weight Watchers (WW) online. I have actually religiously tracked (even down to the TINY, micro-sized crumb of strawberry cake I had to taste to make sure it was edible -- seriously, didn't even eat a piece when dessert was offered!) for the last couple days. 4th of July festivities were a true test of my will-power. While I was not able to make COMPLETELY healthy decisions, I was at least able to realize I had to be "economical" with my points and had to spend them wisely. Thankfully, I have only use a small amount of my extra weekly points -- which means I am doing well on my WW round 3.

Anyway, as of yesterday (my set weigh in day with WW), I had lost 2 pounds.

My goals for today:
1. Track last night's dinner
2. Track today's food intake & healthy habits
3. Walk the neighborhood with my son & husband to get the "500 Mile Challenge" off to a great start

The Weigh-In

Okay...I toggle back and forth between 279.6-285.8 and this yo-yo ride of emotions must come to an end. THIS. SUMMER! Granted I have not "worked out" today as of yet, but my daughter will be traveling to the library in about thirty minutes. At that time, I plan to go to our neighborhood park and walk seven laps on the 1/2 mile track. According to the scales this morning, I was at the 279.6 mark. The overall goal is to be at 269.5 on July 31st. This is in itself is a magnanimous feat for me because I haven't seen that weight in quite some time.

I went from 245 to 272 to 289 to 293 and eventually 293 within a four year period. I considered undergoing surgery, but then who wants to deal with all kinds of hanging skin after gastric by-pass surgery? I sure don't. For those who have endured gastric bypass surgery and been rewarded in massive weight loss--I salute you. Weight loss by means of surgery is just not for me.

I would hope to see my picture on the cover of People magazine's annual 'Half Their Size' issue. This is truly an enterprise that will take more than willpower on my behalf. In order for me to be successful, I will need to know that there are people "out there" who can feel my pain, relate to it, and give me encouraging words to accomplish the dream. I don't need the naysayers telling me about the conditions of society and be satisfied with who you are crap. Obviously, I'm not satisfied.

I endeavor to walk 3.5 miles and complete a 30 day challenge on my Wii Active Challenge.

Peace.

Starting Stats

According to the bathroom scale, I'm starting at 221.4 pounds.  Blissfully, I will get on the Wii in a little while and see a smaller number.  I guess, though, I should go with the bathroom scale (for now, anyway).

The best news in this is that I didn't gain huge amounts of weight on vacation (or, whatever weight was gained, has magically melted away.)  At any rate, I didn't bother jumping on the scale as soon as we returned (and wasn't too thrilled about getting on it this morning, to tell the truth.)

Actually, it shows that I'm a whole pound lighter than before I left, which, quite honestly, is pretty fab, all things considered.

So, what are the plans for day one?

Indoor walking!  (I may get Walk It Out and put it in the Wii), some Just Dance, and at least a bit on the Wii Fit Plus. 

I need breakfast, but I'm not sure what to eat.  Need to fill up my water glass...decide what I'm going to make for everyone else for supper, plus have some errands that need to be run.  And, of course, waiting for my partners in crime weight loss to make an appearance....

Hm.

Yesterday, I developed some jaw pain.  I couldn't close my jaw all the way and couldn't chew...but it wasn't that bad.

I fixed a pretty decent dinner tonight -- stuffed tomatoes, tomato couscous and broccoli, and I couldn't close my jaw at all.  It's starting to sound like my lisp is a little more pronounced, too... 

Definitely looks like soup for the next few days....hrmph.  On the other hand, maybe something is trying to say that I'm going to be serious about this THIS time....

RDP

First Post -- Why?

It's been a while (a long, long while, I think) since I've blogged.  I used to do LiveJournal; however, that site seems to have fallen out of favor with the gaining popularity of Facebook.  Facebook took some getting used to -- microblogging, with only 420 characters!  Impossible!  How do you get all your thoughts and feelings into 420 characters?  (The answer there is: you don't.)

So, I'm on this personal journey, except that I'm attempting to drag a few other people with me along the way.

I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis.  That is an autoimmune disease that affects your thyroid.  If you get too many white blood cells floating about in your body, well, they want something to do.  In my case, when the white blood cells get bored, they attack my thyroid.  Apparently this isn't all that uncommon, but the attack breaks down your thyroid, which controls everything important (apparently) in your body.  Most importantly, your thyroid controls your metabolism.  Slow/Low-functioning thyroid =  slow metabolism = weight gain that can be seemingly impossible to lose.

When I was a child, I was always underweight.  Tiny and thin with bones that stuck out (ankles and wrists).  I could eat anything and not gain an ounce.  When puberty hit, I think I went up to 100 pounds or so.  Something closer to "normal" for my just over 5 feet of height.  My last year in high school, I got up to 130 pounds or so.  I wasn't happy, but I wasn't worried about  it, either.  I really didn't gain much weight until after I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem several years later.  Then, it seemed like I put on 10 pounds over night (or at least over the course of a month!)  I didn't do anything differently with my diet, and, boom!  There it was.

Since then, I've had a child.  During my pregnancy, I was unable to be on thyroid medication.  I gained around 44 pounds.  It took a couple of months to get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight after she was born, but, I did it.  Then I moved home, and eventually got a decent job that came with a health insurance plan.  Now able to get back on my thyroid medication....

...I gained over 10 pounds...

And after a few months...I needed an increase in medication.  So...

...I gained over 10 pounds...

Do you see a trend?  My medication has been increased 3 times, and I've gained roughly 40-50 pounds.  Today, I weigh in at around 220 pounds.  (In case you don't get it, that's where the "substantial" part of the blog name comes in.)  I need to lose around 100 pounds.

Now, to ramble can either mean to walk about without destination or to talk and talk, seemingly without purpose.  You will see, I can ramble in the talking sense with the best of them.

However. . .

I've been inspired by shows like The Biggest Loser and Fat March (that second one there only came on for one summer season).  They exercise and count calories and whatnot to lose weight.  I know, deep down, that I will not see that sort of weight loss.  I also know that the only thing that's likely to help me is to get up and get moving.  I just have to get motivated and force myself to do this when I often have very little energy.

I also have a heart problem that comes with heart palpitations -- mitral valve prolapse.  I have to start slow, meaning exercises like walking and yoga will be best.

My challenge for myself is to walk 500 purposeful miles.  (In other words, the sort of walking we do when shopping doesn't really count.)  That is approximately 1,000,000 steps.  This must be completed in a relatively short amount of time -- say, by September (although, we'll have to wait and see if the beginning or the end is a better goal.)  This is a fairly substantial amount of walking, stepping, etc.  (So, the name could be the endless prattle of the fat girl OR massive amounts of aimless walking.  Take your pick.)

Feel free to join me with POSITIVE encouragement.  The journey officially starts on Tuesday.