The results are in...

1/22: 302.6 pounds 1/29: 296.6 pounds = -6 pounds I have to keep up the good work. Not that I am expecting results like this every week, but this will help in the future when the loss gets tougher. Side note: I've been asked to rejoin WW by a friend I did WW with before. I don't want to not go with her, but at the same time, what I am doing at the moment seems to work for me-- which is the same as WW (calorie counting) and its a free community website. Thoughts?

Too much.

Last night I ate an extra helping of dinner -- which was way too much food. I left horrible. Too full to really do much of anything. I was uncomfortable even way past I went to bed (too full to sleep well). Lesson: Put down that extra serving lard butt! Moving on.

I didn't exercise last night because... well, I was too full. Not a good excuse at all. So, today, I came home -- earlier than expected because school was let out due to the impending bad weather. I got comfortable and tried a few yoga poses. Yes, yoga. To be exact, I did Mountain, Crescent, and Goddess posses. I feel... better and more relaxed. Could I make this into an afternoon routine to wind myself down from the day? Sure. If it makes me feel better and less stressed maybe my 52 week journey will go smoother. Almost 2 weeks down, and we will see the results on Sunday.

I have never publicly stated my weight, or weight goals, but I think I will be strong and brave enough to do so.

Starting weight: 302.6 (Heaviest I've ever been)
Goal weight: 150

Warning: Post contains mentions of food!

Okay, so in my effort to be successful in my 52 week... journey?... I am going to post my meal plans for the week. Honestly, being the cook in the house, I can overhaul a lot of my cooking, but then only I would eat it and end up having to cook almost 3 separate meals. I'm already busy enough just cooking two meals (one for us and one for Thomas, when needed). The meal plans will be a balance of healthy versions of favorites and then straight up healthy stuff.

My lunch for the week: Cabbage soup -- in the crock pot as we speak (My newly purchased smaller crockpot, oh yeah.)

Tonight: Sautéed center-cut pork chops with corn casserole and green beans

Monday: Slow cooker Polynesian Chicken with rice and broccoli

Tuesday: Beef and broccoli in the slow cooker with rice (for me) mashed potatoes (for the hubby)

Wednesday: Chicken enchiladas healthy version (slow cooker chicken with salsa shredded, flour tortillas, sauce and a little bit of cheese) with Remixed Refried Beans (Black beans + rotel blended) and Mexican rice

Thursday: Stuffed bell peppers (turkey not beef) oven baked French Fries

Friday: Ribeye steaks (yeah, I know, but I love red meat and a grilled steak) baked potatoes and green beans

I have realized the key "ingredient" I have been missing since I went on Weight Watchers the first time in 2009: PLANNING. Planning down to the very last detail what I am going to eat: breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. The less I have to think about food and what I want to eat in the moment, the less likely I am to careen off my path in to the ditch of binge eating -- which I do, a lot.

So, I am planning everything. Went to Walmart despite the rain and my feelings toward the store and have my week planned.

I want to be successful. I want to be successful. I can do this. I CAN do this.

I found some inspiration from this woman's blog: http://www.runsforcookies.com/

52 Weeks

1 year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 366 days (leap year in 2012, so I get an extra day!) to get off my ass and do something. Finally do something for myself -- not anyone else.

To lose 1 pound each week for the next year would knock off 52 pounds. To get to my goal weight I need to lose 145 pounds. In about 3 years I could lose and HOPEFULLY keep off that weight. 3 years, that's 156 weeks -- seems like a good amount of time to lose that weight. It seems like a reasonable amount of time to lose and keep off weight.

It's an easy enough concept to lose the weight, to exercise, to eat right, but to actually do it is the hard part. For 25 years that's been the hard part -- DOING. But really, to imagine myself 145 lighter is really unimaginable at this point. Unlike you two, I've never seen skinny not even "healthy weight". Ever. Is this what is the mental wall for me? Has this been the blockage for me for 25 years? Diet and exercise, done it, and then I'm right back where I started -- Fat again.

I sit here typing this after I have baked a chocolate cake for no special reason -- just to bake one because it sounded good when I read it in one of my cookbooks. Yes, and I ate a big ol' slice of it -- it's covered in chocolate cream cheese frosting. And it was good. But have I exercised in the last couple days like I had planned and made my goal to do -- no. I haven't even turned on the Kinect to dance, the Wii to exercise, or walked around outside. Lazy.

How do I change this? I need support. Lots of support. Friends, family, strangers. I need someone to truly hold me accountable. A co-worker told me on Tuesday that I looked like I had lost weight. This came from a girl who had never probably seen over weight -- skinny as a rail -- really, I don't know if she has always been skinny or not that's just an assumption. But do I feel like I've lost weight? No. I don't even keep track. I haven't touched my scale in months. My cat has managed to somehow change it from pounds to kilograms -- so when I stepped on the scale to TRY to weight my self I was given this unbelieved and shocking number, and I was like "Whoa, what the crap?" and then I realized it was kg... So yeah, got to get that fixed somehow.

Back to the chocolate cake. It's not that I feel guilty for eating it -- I had to try it to see if it was good. I really just feel crappy after eating it. Too much sugar. Too much everything. 

I don't want to eat the prepackaged diet food, but to be honest, this is what was successful the last time with the addition of fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm going to have to do something to track my calories and junk.

The "No" Diet

I'm not wholly doing a reboot.  I can't afford a juicer right now, plus to afford the juicer and the massive quantity of veggies and such you have to juice...just isn't going to happen...yet.

So...

I'm buying Naked and another brand of all natural juice.  I buy it in the 32 ounce bottle and drink half for breakfast.  I have a salad for lunch.  Dinner has mostly been about three sweet potatoes boiled, drained, and mashed with about a tablespoon or so of organic cream cheese with the occassional ounce or two of chicken or plate of other random assorted veggies (or, like last night, another salad...)  Plenty of water throughout the day.  Fresh fruit and the handful here and there of raw pecans.

No rice, white potatoes, pasta, or bread.  No meat (other than the occassional slice of ham or bit of baked chicken).  No adding butter to veggies (like steam broccoli or green beans).  Very small amounts of cheese (because it's supposed to be NO dairy).  No sweets beyond fruit and juice.  No caffeine.

So far, although I've had moments of seemingly insatiable hunger, it's not really been all that bad.  The hunger gets sated with massive amounts of fruits and veggies.  I've had a piece of candy on one day, a little bit of ice cream on a couple of other days.

And I've lost 6 pounds.

Since Monday.

And that was an afternoon weigh-in versus a morning weigh-in.

Did I mention that I'm terrified that saying this will cause this to stop working?  (And, yes, I've counted.  I'm getting enough calories.)

We went for lunch today, and I ordered sweet potato fries (I know...shouldn't have the fried food.  Sue me.)  and taco soup without the crushed tortillas.  I must say that the three bites I had of the soup was pretty tasty.  Then my child inhaled the rest of it.  I wound up eating two of her tiny chicken fingers to make up for not getting my soup (she wasn't going to eat them anyway.) 

Then we went to Publix, and she found a recipe for Vegeterian Chili that she wanted.  I told her it had sweet potatoes in it (yummy!), but she still wanted to try it. 

What an awesome recipe!  In a dutch oven (or big pot), heat a tablespoon of olive oil.  Add in 3 cups of sweet potatoes (chopped into 1/2" cubes) and 1 chopped onion.  Cook, stirring occassionally, for about 7 minutes (veggies are getting tender).  Add chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic.  Add 1 can diced tomatoes, lime juice, 1 can (drained and rinsed) black beans, 1 can vegetable broth.  Heat until sweet potatoes are soft.  In the future, I could probably do without the lime.  I had mine with a touch of sour cream and shredded cheddar and a generous sprinkling of Tony Chacher's Cajun Seasoning (which is great on just about everything.)

I should note that the rest of the family had a pasta with chicken and alfredo sauce and veggies.  (Of course the child liked the chili, but not the sweet potatoes, and she didn't feel like she could eat around the sweet potatoes.  I was right.  Go figure.)

Whatever

I have no excuse as to why I have not posted since mid-Setptember. I cannot say that I have continued exercising, taking vitamins, nor eating right. Ironically, it is the New Year. Did I make a resolution to lose weight? Eat right? Diet? Eh, none of the above really or anything else. I have never been good at making resolutions for the New Year and definitely not keeping them. As for now, I really just want to be more active with my son. I want to go out and play, walk, and have fun. I know I need to start eating right. Right now, I feel like I am at least succeeding at the eating right part, but we will take this one day at a time. My goal for tomorrow: drink water, lots of it.