I Am Soooo Over this Experience

In the beginning, I was all over myself wanting the punishment, the diet, the outcome of a TRANSFORMATION! Now, I just want to feel better. I'm sick! My throat, nose, and body hurts--the last thing on my mind is running (still not there, yet!) on a treadmill! I'm down 2o lbs and it seems as if I am stuck in a rut. Okay...okay...okay...I haven't been necessarily following my diet. I mean how many days can one eat tuna and cottage cheese and not want to throw herself from the top of the nearest Surburban? At some point and time, the body begans to reject the blandness and demands taste.

I can say that the way I used to eat, in terms of amount, has changed dramatically. Hubby and I went to Captain D's (his plan, not mine), and I ordered baked salmon, green beans, and a plain baked potato (would have preferred a sweet potato, but alas...). After all was said and done, I watched hubby eat four fried pieces of fish, french fries, coleslaw, and hushpuppies. Not to mention, he rinsed it all down with a giant Dr. Pepper. I could only eat 1/3 of mine! Not even half. I was struggling to eat! I was struggling to eat? The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. So, I retrieved a "to go" box, packed my remaining food, and continued to sip, okay, slurp greedily, from my cup of ice-packed water. Yummy!

So, why in the hell did I eat pizza last night? What the hell was I thinking? I was thinking, "I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since 11:40 am. It's a thin crust supreme...is it really that bad?" The scales tell me this morning that 265.4 (265.4!) is where I am! Yesterday, I was 266.0! Okay, for breakfast: cornflakes; snack: banana; lunch: tuna and cottage cheese; snack: boiled eggs; dinner: tuna and broccoli. Don't judge me, pray for my digestive system and those who sleep with me. Seriously...get on your knees. I wonder can I be 259 by Homecoming? Homecoming! I have so much to do!

Until next time, ladies...

Peace.

ARRGGHHH! My Leg!

Ow.  Owow.  Owowowowowowowowowow!!
.
This happened last week.  My leg, about 3 inches or so above the ankle, hurts.  It has hurt in that spot all week.  Today, it was starting to lessen up, then came dance class.  I've already had a substandard day.  Now I can barely stand on this leg! Ow!

The dance instructor says I probably need to stretch the calf more, so that's what I'm trying.   Stretch!

Do you have any idea what kind of things run through your mind when you have at least 100 pounds that need to go and you're suddenly spending a lot of time bouncing on your poor widdle feetsies?  Could that be a stress fracture?  Surely not.  How would I know?  Would I know without an x-ray?  What can I do to make it go away?  Could it be something else?  Gee...I think that foot is swollen...why would it be swollen?  Maybe it's a sprain.  Can you sprain a muscle THERE?  What's going on?  Ugh.

Adventures In Pie, Part II

Well, go me (! ... ?)  I "earned" just under $30.  The next highest earned was $21 and change.  So, yes, I got pied.

I must say...I was a little disappointed in the experience.  I mean...I expected it to get in my hair and really be smooshed in, but, alas, that didn't happen.  Oh well.  I think I may never have the experience of having a bulldog (kid in mascot costume) pie me again.

Next year, though, I'm waiting until the list of teachers comes out and assigning a bonus point value for each teacher, starting with 0 for me.  (I have thought about a point deficit for if I win, but would that really be fair?)

At least things no longer smell like whipped cream. 

The Biggest Loser

Okay...Biggest Loser started tonight.  The worst part about this show this year is that my tap class starts at 7, so that means I miss half of the show.  Oh well.  This tap class is pretty darn important, right?

I need to get moving more.  I need to do some yoga and get some balance back.  I need to do some cardio-type things.  I've ordered a Richard Simmons dvd.  I need to figure out where Disco Sweat is.  I need a place to set up my Fluidity and start on it again.  Do, do, do. Never enough time, it seems like.  I know you have to MAKE the time.  I'm working on it.

Holy cow!  One team of FIVE people lost 120+ pounds??  In a week?  One guy lost 37 pounds!  Wow.  I missed how much the third team lost.  Just...wow.

In other news (or, your  laugh for the evening), kids are reporting that I'm in the lead in this pie-ing competition.  Someone was trying to get $$ in one of the Coach's jars, and I heard a kid ask where my jar was.  Hmm.  I need to find out how much is in my jar and go drop some $$ in someone else's jar. 

Adventures In Pie, Part I

First off, it's not what you think. 

The cheerleaders are fund-raising.  They have chosen to do the "the teacher with the most money in his/her jar gets pied at the pep rally!"  I am one of only four volunteers.

When I volunteered (before knowing who else or how many others would volunteer), I wrote on the board that if the pie-ee is any other 7th grade teacher, everyone will get 5 bonus points on their quiz that Friday.  If it's me, everyone gets 10. 

Now, I'm going for participation here, right?  Besides, there are over 400 non-7th graders to put money in the other jars.  What's the chance I'll actually get it, especially with class t-shirt sales going on right now?  And, of course, Phillips as a potential target.  Those older kids who have JOBS have an advantage, you know.

Of course, Norris is wishing me luck.  Said last night that he hopes all my 7th graders get their 10 bonus points. 

At least pie in the face doesn't add calories.  Right?

One More Step in the Right Direction

As of this morning, the scale says 222.4.  Which is what it said yesterday morning.  Two days in a row at this weight at least makes you believe it may stick.  So that puts me at, approximately, 4 pounds down.

Now, it isn't phenomenal amounts of weight loss.  But it is a loss.  And for that, we can celebrate.  Right?

So, what am I doing?  Uh...  I feel like I'd get slapped for saying "nothing".  But that's what it feels like.  I have swapped to a few organic products.  I have a slice of toasted Ezekiel 4:9 bread with organic cream cheese and organic blackberry preserves.  (Sometimes with a small glass of Organic 1% milk.)  I've been taking salad for lunch, which isn't much.  I do some sort of mixed greens with tomatoes, feta cheese crumbles, meat (usually grilled, boiled, or baked chicken) and sun-dried tomato salad dressing (60 calories per 2 tablespoons, but I'm sure I'm awful heavy-handed with it.)  I take an apple or some carrots for a snack (but usually never have time to eat a snack), and eat a fairly hearty dinner. 

Is that it?  Hmm....

I'm trying to get more active.  I'm taking a 45 minute per week Tap class that, right now, seems to be absolutely kicking my butt.  My knees hurt for two days after this last one.  I walk out with my hair soaking wet from sweat.  But I still haven't managed to get myself moving on other days of the week. 

Is that it?  Urrr.....

I'm on the cpap.  I have a few nights (like last night) where I just can't deal with it.  (I went to bed around 11, and woke up and took it off at roughly 2:30 this morning.)  However, most nights, I keep it on all night. 

Maybe that's it. 

I dunno.  I know I could be doing better.  I know I need to exercise more.  I want to get my Richard Simmons videos out (or, at least, Disco Sweat) and starting on those again.  Just seems like too much to do, and not nearly enough time to get it done.

MIA/AWHOL

So, yes, I am still here. Not lighter, but a bit heavier than my last update. Labor Day holiday with my family and the in-laws sort of blew it for me: Cheesecake, hot fudge sauce, ribs, chicken... yadda, yadda, yadda... You name it, I probably ate it.

The four pounds I lost the last blog update have been put back on... and probably a little more. I was a little afraid to weigh-in yesterday. I should probably force myself upon the scales in the morning.

Here's my problem: It's just too easy. It's too easy to say, "Oh, that fried ______ (fill in the blank) won't matter." But the problem is that while maybe ONE slip up/indulgence in a blue moon might not matter THAT but (when I know it really does) but if it's like "Whoops! Three slip ups in a week!" Oh my, yes then it does matter. It's too easy to grab lunch between schools now on my commute. It's too easy to wake up and say, "Oops, not enough time to pack my lunch and Thomas's lunch. I'll just pack his." It's too easy to not eat the boring-ass tuna and apple sauce that I do diligently packed for the first two weeks of school and kept losing weight. Yes, it's just too easy.

Also, it's too easy to consider weigh-loss surgery. It's been on my mind since 2009. But sometimes the risks outweigh the benefits in my mind. It scares the hell out of me, but having health problems in the near future scares the hell out of me too. I really fell like I need to make this effort on my own, but having been overweight for your entire life-- it's not too easy to think of not being overweight.

The Game Has Changed

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies....I'm tired! Actually that is a lie! I feel quite refreshed and invigorated. I actually believe I could walk five miles (which I will do this afternoon) and not feel as if I need to cut my feet off afterwards.

As you may recall, I missed three sessions the week of August 29-Sept 2. To top it off, on Monday (Labor Day) the gym closed at five o'clock and I had not received any notice from anyone to come in at an earlier time, so I didn't go. This meant that I had completely blown four sessions. I returned on Wednesday and was rewarded with Brandon. Here is the time that I will tell you that B is not a reward at all. Sure, he was handsome, but don't let that winning smile fool you. I began working with Brandon at 5:32 (I always notice the time), and had to ask for release (yes, I said I had to ask because he was not going to stop). When I stumbled on shaky legs towards the stretch area, Brandon on my heels, I noted the time was 6:49! One thing about him was that he did make sure I breathed correctly which really helped on all the exercises for my lower half. Mind you, everthing that I did fell in this range: 15 sets of 4! 60 squats! 60 dead lifts; 60 leg lifts; 4 sets of lunges (that REALLY hurt); 120 step ups (you know where you step up and down on a stool); 15 laps around the cage (thankfully, not all at once) and 60 hamstring whatevers; however, on the 60 calf thingies...I just gave out. I really don't know how Vicki and I made it home.

Last night (9/9), I had to endure a circuit with Kirby (squats--what's the deal with them?, sprints, kick-up, and the damn ropes) and a one hour step/ab aerobic class. Truly, I was glad Roy drove because it took every ounce of my being to walk out of the door. What makes it so bad is that Val has to run all the time and they are still taking it "easy" on me. WTH?!

However, this morning when I put on my jeans I noticed two things: the looseness of the jeans and the shape of my behind in them. Hoo-ya!

Seven more weeks!

Rainy Day Play...you keep a tapping and I'll keep a squatting. Cristin, we haven't heard from you, but I know you are maintaining and putting your best foot forward. I think we need to get together at the end of our respective Homecomings and have a celebration. Or, we could do it during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Yes! Layaway at Wal-Mart is back!

More Trust Issues?

I got on the Wii this morning for Wii Fit Plus.  I should be ashamed, because it's been 13 days since I last got on it.  According to the Wii, I have lost 8.4 pounds in 3 weeks.  The regular scale (as of the last time I got on it) said I'm down about 3.5.  Granted, I haven't gotten on that scale today, but I just don't see it saying I've had that much of a loss.

OF course...If I have to pick one to go with...well...the Wii also is registering roughly 10 pounds less than the other scale.  So...y'know....

Hmm...maybe that cardboard box isn't good for it...

I'm Not Bad....

But I must say that the $4/pint (on sale!) gelato (aka ice cream) is worth every penny.  I bought it Saturday, and am almost finished with it.  A little bit here...a little bit there.....  As good as it is, you'd like to sit and eat the whole container (which is reusable, btw).  But as much as you spent for it, you want to savor the flavor.  Make it last over a few days.

Last night, I used up the last of my super-good-for-you sprouted grain ohmygoditswheat bread.  Mind you, there are no preservatives, so I keep the current loaf in the fridge and a spare in the freezer.  Well, dumb me forgot to take the spare out of the freezer.  This morning I had to make my toast (with organic cream cheese and blackberry preserves) with white bread!  It didn't taste right, and I was super hungry way earlier than I should have been.

So, last week (or whenever) I said I didn't trust the scale.  It has officially stayed at 223.  Going down by tenths now (and even this afternoon, which is usually a terrible time to weigh, it was .4 lower than this morning.)  I'm going to keep trying to do what I'm doing, work towards more activity, and hope for the best.  (For now.  I've got to get more active, and got to work up to it.)

Now....can I go to bed?

Dance! Woo!

I survived my first dance class!  Woo!  Every muscle in my legs are shaking and I'm dripping in sweat...but I survived!

There are four people in the class (so far).  Two have been tapping for a couple of years.  Then there's me.  I clogged for a year once upon a time.  And the fourth has never worn a pair of tap shoes (other than to try on the pair she's got) in her life.  She's in the same boat I am -- maybe this will help us jiggle some of this extra weight off.  (Okay..yeah...I danced oh-so-long ago and wanted to dance again.)

So the instructor would do some for all of us, then would set more "advanced" steps for our "advanced" dancers.  I'm having some balance issues, but I could do everything except a backwards flap with little trouble.  I was told that I was doing well transitioning from clogging to tap.  My response?

"You know, it's been over 20 years since I took clogging."

"Really?  Either you have some natural talent, or it's all coming back to you really fast." 

My thought?  It's like riding a bike, right?  (Although, if it's talent, then we know where little K gets it from, right?)

So, we ended with "tap cardio".  Five minutes or so of move-it move-it get your heart rate up and sweat.  Holy cow -- I was already sweating!  And then stretching out at the end....I can't stand on one foot and stretch anything.  Even the "newbie" was better balanced that I was.  My tree met a logger.  (Tree, if you don't know, is that yoga move that I've never been able to do steadily where you stand on one leg with the other leg on your thigh.  Yeah.  You can't do it either, can you?)

Tomorrow Is the Beginning. . .

. . . .of dance!  I think I'm excited about starting tap.  You must understand that I always wanted to take dance growing up.  I was only able to take clogging during my 3rd grade year.  After that, we moved here, and the price of lessons tripled or quadrupled.  We couldn't afford it. 

That's why my daughter will be starting her 5th year of dance lessons.  It's one of those things that, so long as I can afford it, she will do it as long as I can keep her in it.  This year, she will have the same schedule as last year, although I'm hoping that her teacher will realize that she's the same age as at least one child who was moved up to level 2 (which is 3rd/4th grades).  It makes no sense to me, but I'm trying really hard to make peace with it.  Maybe it's because that child is so much bigger (taller, mostly) than mine.  Maybe they didn't realize that the other child is in 2nd grade and not 3rd.  Maybe...ugh.  I dunno.

I'm hoping this dance class will help pick up my energy levels.  Tap, tap, tappity-tap. 

Hey, High Heels.....how was that training session today?

When Yo's Away...the Trainee Eats

Awww sh&*! I really messed up today. Is it redeemable? Why certainly! When will I start? Immediately. Will there be consequences and repercussions? ABSOLUTELY!

Dear friends: RDP and C...Pray for your friend's workout on Monday. I have a feeling it will not be pretty.

Still Working on Those Trust Issues

The scale this morning said 223.0.  I won't tell you what I've eaten this week...for dinner, mind you.  Breakfast and lunch, I'm decent.  It's dinner that's the downfall.

I must say that I'm finding it difficult to get enough to drink during the day.  I stand outside my door until I feel fairly positive that all of my kids are in, then move to the "door" in the hallway so I can catch latecomers.  No time for getting more water OR trotting off to the restroom in between.  As far as the water goes, I need to do what I'd been thinking of -- freezing half a bottle overnight, the filling the other half with water in the morning.  The ice will melt as the day goes on, providing cool-cold water all day.  It's a thought, anyway, right? 

Publix seems to have a lot of good deals this weekend.  Notebooks and other school supplies have been marked down @ Target already, and I'm ready to go hiking through the stores, looking for a great deal. 

What?  You want to know how this cpap thing is working out for me?  Well...I'm not sure.  I am mostly getting through the night with it on.  (although, last night, I took it off.  I think it was around 12:30, which would mean that I kept it on for close to 4 hours.)  I still feel sleepy.  I don't seem to be having that 1:00 feeling of "God, if I could only go to be RIGHT NOW....."  But I'm also busy at 1:00 and not just sitting around.  How long does it take to recover from sleep dep?

I Took a "You Dumb A#% Pill"

I might as well get straight to the point. First, I didn't workout once with my trainer this week. Second, I ate FRIED chicken fingers and FRIED potato wedges yesterday afternoon. Lastly, I sucked down a Jr. Whopper WITH cheese last night. I mean, really? What just happened. So, that means where the scale had been registering 272.4, now is holding fast to 276.1, which is all my fault. Now, I feel packed and in need of an enigma. Yes, it was stupid. Yes, I'm REALLY going to pay for this %^(# up! No, I will not continue on this path. I am not going to do the "what if" game becaue I know why I ate. STUPIDLY thought it wouldn't really matter.

To make matters worse, I have not been eating as my dietician would like. I have just stressed out and fallen apart. Well, the time to regroup is this morning as I head to the kitchen to eat a banana and three boiled eggs. If you are smart, do not stand near me. I am also drinking my alloted gallon of water (I have yet to make this quota). I wonder could I blame this minor slip on the lesson plan template we have to follow? I could couldn't I? I will.

Wii Active is calling my name and I shall surrender to the call. Perhaps this month, the count will drop between 15-20 additional pounds. Now, that is a goal I am looking forward to making. Which means I have to step my game back up and exercise EVERY day. There are only two more months left, and I doubt if it gets any easier. Let's be real...it's not getting easier.

I solemnly promise to be on my p's and q's today. No foolish setbacks. Too many articles of clothing are waiting to be worn. I don't want to disappoint them.

Peace.